Porn: Addiction or Solution? (ENGLISH responses)

Do you think that a lot of the people who are poor, are poor, poor, or poor, poor?

Poor, constant consumption of porn is an addiction.

Similar to any addiction. Like alcoholism, drug abuse.

It has a compulsive element, in the sense that the narcissist needs the...

Not only narcissist, any porn, any porn addict, needs the pornography.

The same way that a drug addict needs a drug, or alcoholic needs a shot, and so on and so forth.

So there's nothing difference about this, and the question is generalized, can an addict quit an addiction?

And the answer is yes, of course, any addict can quit an addiction.

The prognosis is not good with sedivism, it's very high, in the sense that an addict who quits an addiction usually has remission, or relapse, and returns to the addiction.

It's very common.

Eighty percent of alcoholics return to alcohol after they have quit alcohol, for example. That's eighty percent, within one year.

So porn addiction is the same.

The thing with porn addiction is that it's multidimensional.

It provides answers to many problems and many questions. It has a physiological aspect, but also a psychological aspect, and it solves relationship problems.

For example, imagine that the narcissist does not want to cheat, is afraid to lose his partner. Porn is a solution.

So porn comes handy, it's instrumental, and so on.

The chances or likelihood of a porn addict seizing to consume porn is very low, because porn has no stigma. Stigma helps a lot.

And also porn doesn't lead to adverse consequences. If you get drunk, you can end up having unprotected sex with a stranger, and then you get sexually transmitted disease, and then you can die if it's AIDS.

The risks are high. It's a reckless behavior to drink.

Drink is also a social dimension. Most drinking is social, actually.

So people drink in society. So when they get drunk, they can do stupid things. If they do stupid things with the boss, I mean, the next day they're fired.

So alcohol can have serious consequences, and drugs, of course, you can end up with the wrong people, with the wrong place, and in the wrong cemetery.

So these are problems.

A porn is a solitary activity with zero risk, in effect, only benefits.

So the cost of porn is zero. The benefits are total.

And there is no social stigma. If you're an alcoholic, many people will look at you like that. If you're a drug addict, of course, including the police, will not be happy.

But if you're consuming porn, everyone consumes porn. It's a thing everyone does.

The incentives to give up porn are very close to zero, the social incentives, individual incentives.

And so the prognosis of giving up on porn addiction are very dim. I don't think anyone would do it.

If someone thinks when you have sex, men who look at you and come and ask you to do that, you'd give up on it.

First of all, thank you very much for the arousing and exciting list. I would like to have a copy later, if you don't mind.

It's related to age because narcissism changes with age. All narcissists and all narcissism has a very pronounced anti-social component, kind of psychopathy component.

Psychopathy, this psychopathy component has to do with novelty seeking, dominance seeking, risk taking, defiance, especially defiance of authority and accepted social mores and conventions, laws.

And this together, they are the anti-social dimension of narcissism.

Now exactly like psychopathy proper, exactly like anti-social personality disorder, the anti-social dimension of narcissism peaks.

Is it a maximum when the narcissist is between 35 and 40? And after age 40, it goes down and vanishes completely by age 45, 50.

By age 45, 50, the narcissist doesn't have any more anti-social elements in his narcissism.

And by the way, majority of psychopaths are not psychopaths anymore by age 45, 50.

It's the same with borderline, 50% of all people diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.

After age 35, 50, they lose the diagnosis, they are no longer borderline. Cluster B disorders have a life cycle which is age related and they diminish and literally disappear after typically age 40, 45.

So this would explain what you have described.

Behaviors which have to do with risk, with dominance, with defiance, with aggression, anti-social behaviors, behaviors which have to do with subjugation of other people, dehumanization, objectification.

All these behaviors which are essentially psychopathic behaviors, they would pick in the 30s up to age 40 in a narcissist.

Now, the thing with a narcissist is that once he had developed this set of behaviors, they had become what we call default-based behaviors.

They are the behaviors that he knows. He doesn't know anything else.

And even though he doesn't have the impulses anymore, he doesn't have the urges anymore, that's the only thing he knows. He's only sex. That's how he does sex. He doesn't know better.

So he continues these behaviors but they provide less and less reward. They are less and less pleasant or less and less rewarding because the urges are not there. He just does it automatically because that's what he does.

It's like someone who when he was very young was eating only caviar. So when he grows up, he eats only caviar.

And gradually, it's not tasty anymore, not interesting anymore. But he doesn't know. He never heard of bread. He never heard of sausages. He just knows caviar.

So he continues to eat caviar all his life.

It's the same with a narcissist.

So narcissists after age 40 are what we call sex-discrepant.

Their sexual practices do not provide sexual pleasure and gratification and fulfillment.

So because of that, they escalate. They are like drug addicts.

First you take one shot, then two shots, then six shots to get the same effect.

So they escalate the sexual behavior to try to recoup or recapture the initial effect that they had when they were 30s.

When a narcissist is 30, he has his first golden shower and it's the most amazing, stunning thing in the world.

And he remembers this. He remembers this experience.

But then he's 50 and he has a golden shower and it's nothing except wet towels.

And he says, wait a minute, maybe golden shower is not enough. You have to escalate and radicalize the behavior. Maybe you have to make it more kinky. Maybe you have to make it many, many times. Maybe you have to make it in a group.

So he tries to improvise on the basic behavior. He tries to augment it. He tries to embellish it and decorate it and ornament it so that it recaptures the original excitement.

But he always fails.

So as he fails, he gravitates to more and more extreme behaviors, more extreme behaviors.

So if he was into discipline, for example, in his 30s, so as a discipline in his 30s, a slap on the face would obtain the result.

By the time he's 50 or 60, he would demand extreme whipping, extreme spanking, blood drawing, being hanged, you know, shibari.

He would go to extremes. It's still the same psychodynamic phenomenon.

But he would need to escalate to exactly like a drug addict, to recapture the, and it will never happen again. He will never recapture again.

So now this is the constantly sexually frustrated and at the end of life, many of them withdraw completely. They become schizoid and they completely withdraw from society, from people, from sex, from everything because of this.

Anyhow, that's the age cycle.