Selves, True and False in Narcissism (ENGLISH responses, with Nárcisz Coach)

Uploaded 1/20/2020, approx. 2 minute read

What happens with the original self that we sacrifice, basically, for the most?

Does it ever come back or it disappears? It doesn't disappear, but it doesn't come back. It has no, in the mental economy, if we compare the psyche, if we compare the soul to some kind of energy-consuming machine, so in the mental economy, the true self is a part that no longer contributes or consumes energy. It's a dead part. And so it's there, it's ossified, it's fossilized. It's like a fossil, ossified fossilized. You can see the contours, you can see the contours of how it used to look, but it does not contribute or participate in functioning of any kind, in any psychodynamic process, whatever. Everything has been transferred to the outside.

And narcissist is a person whose inside is externalized. It's like a person whose intestines are outside, not inside. All his insides have been externalized. So all the processes that normally are regulated from inside, he uses the false self to regulate and other people. So that's why narcissists need other people. They need other people to regulate their internal environment. They cannot do it by themselves. So they have the false self and they interact with the false self. The false self is like external, yes?

So the false self tells them what to do, how to behave, who they are. It's an external entity, god-like entity that interacts with them.

But to regulate the sense of self-worth, self-confidence, self-esteem, to form a coherent identity, they need other people. So they approach other people and they solicit narcissistic supply. They can solicit narcissistic supply peacefully, but if they don't get it peacefully, they become very aggressive and they can even become violent because they need the supply to survive. Narcissistic supply is attention of any kind, could be positive attention, like adulation, admiration, could be negative attention, like being feared or being hated. Attention. If the narcissist doesn't get attention, he cannot regulate his internal environment and he falls apart. He falls to pieces.

There's a famous painting by Salvador Dalí, Galatea, where she starts off as a face and then the face disintegrates into molecules. That's the narcissist. Without narcissistic supply, the narcissist will suddenly disintegrate into molecules. And that's how the narcissist experiences himself. He experiences himself as a kind of a loosely-head coalition of molecules.

And the glue is narcissistic supply. And you have to renew the glue all the time. Otherwise the molecules will drift away and the narcissist will vanish gradually. Nothing will be left.

I can't begin to describe to you how terrifying this sensation is. I don't even know if you can imagine how absolutely terrifying it is on a second by second basis. Not generally, but second by second basis.

So the narcissist is addicted to narcissistic supply just in order to feel that he exists. His very sense of existence critically depends on input from the other side.

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Narcissist: You All Exist Only in My Mind (Hive or Swarm False Self and Ego Functions)

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Narcissist Can't Feel Lovable, Good, Worthy, Self-rejects

Negative identity in narcissism involves defining oneself in contrast or contradiction to others, either positively or negatively. This can lead to self-rejection, self-loathing, and the creation of a false self to compensate for the perceived inadequacy of the true self. This process is further complicated by the narcissist's autoplastic and alloplastic defenses, as well as their external and internal locus of control. Ultimately, the narcissist's pursuit of goals and accomplishments to satisfy their false self serves as a form of self-rejection, as they are constantly reminded of their inadequacy and worthlessness in comparison to the false self.

Why Narcissists Love Borderline Women and Why They Hate Them Back

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How Narcissist Experiences/Reacts to No Contact, Grey Rock, Mirroring, Coping, Survival Techniques

Narcissists are victims of post-traumatic conditions caused by their parents, leading to ontological insecurity, dissociation, and confabulation. They have no core identity and construct their sense of self by reflecting themselves from other people. Narcissists have empathy, but it is cold empathy, which is goal-oriented and used to find vulnerabilities to obtain goals. Narcissism becomes a religion when a child is abused by their parents, particularly their mother, and not allowed to develop their own boundaries. The false self demands human sacrifice, and the narcissist must sacrifice others to the false self to gratify and satisfy it.

Narcissist: You are Cardboard Cutouts, Avatars

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Narcissist's Sadistic Inner Judge and Critic

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Narcissist: Life as a Film

The narcissist experiences life as a nightmare due to the divergent functionality of the false self and the true self. The true self is the original personality that was suppressed and supplanted by the false self, which is incapable of feeling or experiencing. The narcissist dissociates and cuts off parts of their life and portions of their experiences, leading to detachment and estrangement from themselves. The narcissist lives vicariously through the good offices of the false self, sacrificing their own life to please and appease their master.

Inner Voices, Narcissism, and Codependence

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