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Solitude is a Rational Choice

Uploaded 12/30/2013, approx. 3 minute read

My name is Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

Schizoids, people diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder, tend to avoid meaningful relationships from sex to romance to workplace relations. They do not derive any emotional benefits from associating with people. Few bred schizoids shrug off their disorder.

They claim that they simply do not like being around people. They resent the pathologizing of their lifestyle choice to remain aloof and alone. They consider the diagnosis of schizoid personality disorder to be spurious, a mere reflection of current sociocultural worries, and a culture-bound artifact.

Narcissists, as usual, tend to rationalize and aggrandize their schizoid conduct. They propound the idea that being alone is the only logical choice in today's hostile, anomic and atomized world.

The concept of individual sadist narcissists exists only in the human species. Animals flock together, or they operate in colonies or herds. Each member of these aggregates is an extension of the organic whole.

In contra-distinction, people band and socialize only for purposes of a goal-oriented cooperation or the seeking of emotional rewards, solace, succor, love, support, etc.

Yet in contemporary civilization, the accomplishment of most goals is outsourced to impersonal collectives, such as a state or large corporations. Everything from food production to distribution to education is now relegated to faceless, anonymous entities which require little or no social interaction.

Additionally, new technologies empower the individual and render him or her self-sufficient, profoundly independent of others. As they have grown in complexity and in expectations fed by the mass media, relationships have mutated to being emotionally unrewarding and narcissistically injurious to the point of becoming a perpetual fount of pain and unease.

More formalized social interactions present a substantial financial and emotional risk.

Close to half of all marriages, for instance, end in a divorce, inflicting enormous pecuniary damage and emotional deprivation on the parties involved.

The prevailing efforts of gender wars, as reflected in the evolving legal milieu, further serves to deter any residual predilection and propensity to team up and bond.

And this is a vicious circle. It is a vicious circle that is difficult to break.

Traumatized by past encounters and liaisons, people tend to avoid future ones.

Deeply wounded, they are rendered less tolerant, more hypervigilant, more defensive and more aggressive.

Trues which both yield for their capacity to initiate, sustain and maintain relationships.

The breakdown and dysfunction of social structures and institutions, communities and social units is masked by technologies which provide very similar truths and confabulations.

We all gravitate towards the delusional and fantastic universe of our own making, as we find the real one too hurtful to endure.

Modern life is so taxing and onerous and so decreased the individual scarce resources that little is left to accommodate the needs of social intercourse.

People's energy, funds and work within, are stretched to the breaking point by the often conflicting demands of near survival in post-industrial societies.

Furthermore, the sublimation of instinctual urges to peer the libido, associate, mingle and fraternize, is both encouraged and rewarded in today's society.

Substitutes exist for all social functions, including sex, pornography and childbearing single parental.

And so this substitute renders social institutions obsolete and superfluous and socially give and take, awkward and inefficient.

The individual need has emerged as the organizing principle in human affairs, supplanting the collective.

The idolatry of the individual inexorably and ineluctably results in the malignant forms of narcissism that are so prevalent, indeed all pervasive, wherever we direct our gaze.

It is a sorry sight and a poor prognosis for us as a species.

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Loner’s Psychology: Mystery of Schizoid Personality (Intro to 6 Hour SEMINAR, link in description)

The schizoid personality is increasingly recognized as a rational lifestyle choice in a world where many prefer solitude over social interaction, with a significant portion of adults choosing to remain single and report happiness in their aloneness. This lifestyle is distinct from loneliness, which indicates an emotional struggle with solitude, while schizoids often avoid relationships due to past negative experiences and a desire for self-sufficiency. There is a complex relationship between schizoid and narcissistic behaviors, as both share issues with object relations, but differ in their emotional investment and perception of external objects. The existence of schizoids challenges societal norms about relationships and intimacy, provoking a mix of fascination and discomfort in others, as they embody a self-sufficient existence that questions the necessity of interpersonal connections.


Schizoid Personality and Schizoid Narcissism Bible (Compilation)

Schizoid personality disorder is characterized by a profound lack of interest in social relationships, emotional flatness, and anhedonia, leading individuals to prefer solitary activities and avoid intimacy. Schizoids do not experience pleasure in relationships or sexual encounters, often appearing cold and robotic to others. In contrast, narcissistic personality disorder involves a grandiose self-image and a deep need for external validation, with narcissists often relying on others for their self-worth while simultaneously despising them. The connection between these two disorders lies in their shared roots in early emotional trauma, leading to different coping mechanisms: schizoids withdraw entirely, while narcissists create a false self to maintain some level of external object relations.


Schizoid Narcissist Is Not Covert Narcissist

Atypical presentations of narcissism can complicate diagnosis, particularly with the schizoid narcissist, who exhibits traits that may lead to misdiagnosis as avoidant or covert narcissists. Schizoid narcissists often avoid social interactions and lack emotional reactivity, distinguishing them from covert narcissists who may still experience negative emotions and create ideologies around their social aversion. Their sexual behavior is also markedly different; while classic and covert narcissists may use sex as a tool for supply, schizoid narcissists are often asexual or find sex unpleasurable, viewing it as a chore rather than a source of gratification. The internal conflict between the narcissistic need for supply and the schizoid desire for solitude creates complex relational dynamics, leading to approach-avoidance behaviors that can confuse those around them.


Narcissist=Insane? You, Envy, Withdrawal, Loner Narcissist

Solitude and loneliness are distinct experiences, with solitude allowing for self-reflection and thought, while loneliness signifies a deprivation of human connection. The transition from meaningful relationships to a culture that values superficial interactions has led to increased rates of mental health issues, particularly among the youth. Narcissism and schizoid personality traits are intertwined, with both conditions stemming from a fragmented self and a reliance on internal objects rather than external relationships. The modern emphasis on individualism and technology has exacerbated feelings of isolation, resulting in a society where genuine connections are increasingly rare and difficult to maintain.


Hermit: Schizoid Personality Disorder

Schizoid personality disorder is characterized by anhedonia, leading individuals to experience little to no pleasure and exhibit indifference towards social relationships. Schizoids are emotionally flat, lacking intimacy and rarely expressing feelings, which results in a preference for solitary activities and mechanical tasks. They maintain few connections, even with family, and are rigid in their routines, often struggling to adapt to changing circumstances. Their social interactions are marked by ineptness, as they fail to respond appropriately to social cues and gestures.


Lonely World, Schizoid Future (and Sex)

The schizoid core, characterized by a lack of identity and a void, is at the foundation of personality and character pathologies. Society is gravitating towards a schizoid solution, with people preferring solitude and avoiding interactions with others. The schizoid world is becoming more narcissistic, psychopathic, and autoerotic, with sex being the last remaining vestige of human contact. The future will be a society in flux, with ad hoc self-assembling networks and no concept of institutions, intimate relationships, or politics.


Women Narcissists

A significant minority of narcissists are women, and while there are differences in how male and female narcissists manifest their traits, the underlying psychodynamics are similar. Women often focus on their physical appearance and traditional gender roles to secure narcissistic supply, while men may emphasize power and status. Both genders rely heavily on the opinions of others to maintain their self-image, leading to a dependence on social conformity. Ultimately, the primary distinction lies in their chosen sources of narcissistic supply, with societal factors influencing the prevalence of narcissistic personality disorder across genders.


Narcissist or Psychopath? What Are the Differences?

Narcissists and psychopaths share many traits, but there are important differences between the two. Psychopaths are less inhibited and less grandiose than narcissists, and they are unable or unwilling to control their impulses. Psychopaths are deliberately and gleefully evil, while narcissists are absentmindedly and incidentally evil. Narcissists are addicted to narcissistic supply, while psychopaths do not need other people at all.


Simple Trick: Tell Apart Narcissist, Psychopath, Borderline

Narcissists maintain one stable aspect of their lives, referred to as an "island of stability," while the rest of their existence is chaotic and disordered, leading to misconceptions about their character. In contrast, psychopaths lack any stable elements in their lives, resulting in pervasive instability across all dimensions. There are two types of narcissists: those who create compensatory stability by stabilizing one area of their life while everything else is chaotic, and those who enhance instability by introducing chaos into all aspects of their lives when one area is disrupted. The distinction between narcissists and psychopaths lies in their emotional engagement and the presence of stability, with narcissists relying on external validation while psychopaths operate without emotional depth or continuity.


Narcissistic Women vs. Borderline Women vs. Narcissistic Men

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the differences between men and women when it comes to personality disorders. He states that there is little difference between male and female narcissists in terms of their psychodynamics, but their behaviors may differ due to societal and cultural expectations. Within the same diagnosis, the variation between men and women is low, but the variation between diagnoses is much higher. Vaknin also notes that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) is gender-neutral in its language, but some claims within it can be seen as sexist.

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