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Somatic Narcissist: Not Sex, But Pursuit and Conquest

Uploaded 5/3/2014, approx. 4 minute read

My name is Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

Somatic narcissists are often portrayed as sex addicts or histrionic, but really they derive the narcissistic supply not so much from the sex act as from the process of securing it.

The conspiracies, the assignations, the chase and the conquest, subjugation and habituation of their targets, and even from dumping and discarding their prey, once having extracted the attention and admiration they had sought.

These extracurricular activities, the chase, the conspiracy, the assignation, these endow the somatic narcissist with a sense of omnipotence and all pervasive control.

His sway over his paramours and would-be lovers proves to the somatic narcissist and to others that he is unique, desirable and irresistible.

300 years before the term narcissism for the word narcissism was coined by Sigmund Freud, another great mind, William Shakespeare, has written Sonnet number 62, which describes perfectly the somatic narcissist.

Listen to this. Sin of self-love possesseth all mine eye, and all my soul, and all my every part.

And for this sin there is no remedy.

It is so grounded inward in my heart.

He thinks no face so gracious is as mine, no shape so true, no truth of such account.

And for myself mine own worth do define, and I, all other, in all worths, surmount.


But when my glass shows me myself indeed, beated and chopped with tanned antiquity, mine own self-love quite contrary, I read.

Self, so self-loving, were iniquity. It is thee, myself, therefore my senpai praise, painting my age with beauty of thy days.

Perfect.

Shakespeare captured the essence of somatic narcissism, and narcissism in general, in this single sonnet, better than a hundred scholars in a hundred voluminous, well-researched, deep, academic tones.

Narcissists are either cerebral or somatic. In other words, they either generate the narcissistic supply by applying their bodies or by applying their minds.

The somatic narcissist flaunts his sexual conquests, parades his possessions, exhibits his muscles, brags about his physical aesthetics or sexual prowess or exploits, and is often a health freak, a bodybuilder or a hypochondriac.

The somatic narcissist regards his body as an object to be sculpted and honed via extreme diets, multiple cosmetic surgeries, bodybuilding or weightlifting.

When coupled with psychopathic tendencies, the somatic narcissist appropriates other people's bodies and treats these bodies as raw materials to be dismembered, tempered with, altered, invaded or otherwise abused.

Utilation is a hallmark of a somatic narcissist's sadistic and psychopathic behavior.

The cerebral narcissist, on the other hand, is a no-eat-aller. He is haughty and kind of intelligent robot or computer. He uses his awesome intellect or knowledge, real or pretended sometimes, to secure adoration, adulation and admiration.

To the cerebral narcissist, his body and its maintenance are a burden, a distraction.

Both types, the somatic and the cerebral, are auto-erotic, psychosexually in love with themselves, with their own bodies or with their brain. Both types prefer masturbation to adult, mature, interactive, multi-dimensional and emotion-laden sex with an intimate pattern.

The cerebral narcissist is often celibate. Even when he has a girlfriend or a spouse, he usually abstains from sex. He prefers pornography and sexual auto-stimulation to the ring thing.

The cerebral narcissist is sometimes a latent, hidden, not-yet-altered homosexual.

The somatic narcissist uses other people's bodies to masturbate. Sex with the somatic narcissist, pyrotechnics and acrobatic society is likely to be an impersonal and emotionally alienating and draining experience.

The partner is often treated as an object, an extension of the somatic narcissist, a kind of toy, a warm and pulsating vibrator.

It is a mistake to assume type constancy. In other words, all narcissists are both cerebral and somatic.

In each narcissist, one of the types is dominant, so the narcissist is either overwhelmingly cerebral or dominantly somatic.

But the other type, the recessive type, the type that manifests less frequently, is there. It is lurking, it is waiting to erupt.

The narcissist swings between his dominant type and his recessive type. The recessive type is expressed mainly as a result of and following a major narcissistic injury or a substantial life crisis.

So cerebral narcissists and somatic narcissists are two sides of the same cone. This is never to be forgotten. The narcissist will always astound you with his sudden pendular shifts between two personalities, a Mr. Jekyll and a Dr. Hyde.

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Narcissist: Women as Sluttish Huntresses or Sexless Saints

Heterosexual narcissists desire women but are frustrated by their inability to interact with them meaningfully. They hate women virulently, passionately, and uncompromisingly, and their hate is primal, irrational, and the progeny of mortal fear and sustained abuse in early childhood. Narcissists are infinitely pessimistic, bare-tempered, paranoid, and sadistic, and their daily routine is a rigmarole of threats, complaints, hurts, eruptions, moodiness, and rage. They are their own worst enemy and cannot conceive of life in one place with one set of people, doing the same thing in the same field with one goal within a decades-old game plan or career path or relationship.


Narcissist Frustrates Women with Ostentatious Fidelity

Narcissists, particularly cerebral narcissists, often frustrate women who are attracted to them by withholding sex or teasing them. This is because they are misogynists who hold women in contempt and fear them. They divide women into saints and whores, and view sex and intimacy as mutually exclusive. The narcissist's frustrating behavior serves to secure a narcissistic supply and reenact unresolved conflicts with their mother. They pathologize women to control them and project their own parasitic behavior onto them.


Sex and Narcissistic Supply: Cerebral, Somatic, and YOU!

Narcissists objectify and interchange intimate partners, and are often sexually deviant. The cerebral narcissist suppresses their sexual predilections to maintain a gratifying and exclusive relationship with their source of secondary supply, while the somatic narcissist indulges their sexual preferences with multiple partners. The cerebral narcissist would rather hurt their partner by withholding sex than lose them altogether, while the somatic narcissist seeks out unstable partners to regulate their sense of self-worth. Sex is a necessary evil to the cerebral narcissist, while it is a source of narcissistic supply to the somatic narcissist.


Brain, Brawn, Body, Bluff: Narcissists, Somatic, Covert, Cerebral, and Classic

Narcissists can be either somatic or cerebral, depending on whether they use their physical appearance or intellect to obtain supply. While there is no constancy, there is type dominance, with cerebral narcissists emphasizing their intellect and somatic narcissists emphasizing their physical appearance. Narcissists are competitive and ambitious in sex, using their partner's body as an animated dildo or masturbatory object. Covert narcissists, who are mostly women, tend to be largely asexual due to deep-set inferiority complexes and body dysmorphic disorders. They may engage in body-altering behaviors such as surgeries and look-maxing, which is more prevalent among covert somatic narcissists. Altruism can also be a form of ostentatious narcissism.


Narcissist: No Sex, please, I am Cerebral!

Narcissists are autoerotic and prefer masturbation to sex. They view women with contempt and seek to torment them. The cerebral narcissist is often celibate and prefers pornography and sexual auto-stimulation to the real thing. They are afraid of encounters with the opposite sex and are even more afraid of emotional involvement or commitment that they fancy themselves prone to develop following a sexual encounter.


N-Magnet: Narcissist's Ideal Victim?

Narcissists are not drawn to empathic, sensitive people, but rather repelled by them. Victims of narcissistic abuse come in all shapes, sizes, professions, genders, and ages, and there is no specific profile. People should not think of themselves as a "narcissist magnet" and instead review their life in detail to see that they have control over their destiny and can learn from their experiences. Bed relationships, no matter how harrowing, are opportunities to learn lessons.


Narcissist's Victims' Many Faces

Everyone around the narcissist is bound to become a victim, whether voluntarily or involuntarily. There are three categories of victims: those who suffer from the narcissist's instability, those who are misled by the narcissist's deceiving messages, and those who are intentionally targeted by the narcissist. The narcissist is both sadistic and masochistic, and in hurting others, he always seeks to also hurt himself. The narcissist is ruinous and destructive, and no amount of punishment can restore the balance or provide closure and vindication.


Narcissist's Sexual Identities (ENGLISH responses)

Narcissists lack an ego and have no reality test, so they rely on other people to provide them with narcissistic supply. The cerebral narcissist uses their intellect to obtain supply, while the somatic narcissist uses their body and sex. However, all narcissists are both cerebral and somatic, with a dominant and recessive side. The dominant side is usually 70-80% of their life, but there is fluctuation between the two types. Narcissists are frozen at a young age and have no sexual or gender identity, leading to infantilization and reaction formation to their own sexuality.


Narcissists Hate Women, Misogynists

Narcissists view women as objects and use them for both primary and secondary narcissistic supply. They fear emotional intimacy and treat women as property, similar to the mindset of European males in the 18th century. Narcissists frustrate women by teasing them and then leaving them, and they hold women in contempt, choosing submissive partners whom they disdain for being below their intellectual level. The narcissist projects his own behavior and traits onto women.


Why Cerebral Narcissist Becomes Somatic ( Aging, Death)

Cerebral narcissists are individuals who redirect their entire libido and eros into intellectual pursuits, using their mind, intellect, and intelligence to secure favorable outcomes from the environment. This is due to sublimation, which involves converting drives, urges, and instincts into socially acceptable activities that consume the energy that should have gone to these drives, urges, and instincts. However, cerebral narcissists can transition to become somatic sex addicts following something known as narcissistic collapse, when they can no longer obtain supply in the classical traditional habituated ways. This transformation is very destabilizing for the narcissist, and they become very mournful, grieving, and furious, sometimes even suicidal.

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