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WARNING: Don’t Join Narcissist’s Death Cult (Narcissist Forgets, Recalls You DAILY)

Uploaded 7/11/2023, approx. 4 minute read

Today there's a short piece. It's a warning. I advise you to steal yourself, double E, to be strong and to listen to it to the end. Please listen to the end. It's not that long and every word counts.

Before I put on the warning, you need to understand that you are an external object to the narcissist. Narcissists are incapable of grasping or internal objects or interacting with them.

So what the narcissist does, the narcissist dissociates you, cuts you off, essentially forgets you.

Because as an external object, you're independent, you're autonomous, you're agentic and therefore you're threatening because you cannot be fully controlled, totally manipulated and you're capable of abandoning the narcissist or hurting him in some way.

So you constitute a threat. Your externality, your separateness from the narcissist constitutes a threat, your autonomy, your agency and so on. So the narcissist most of the time forgets about you. He interacts with an internal object that represents you in his mind and he forgets about your existence as an external object. He is forced to remember, he is forced to recall that you are out there in reality only when you act with independence, only when you make decisions and choices that have nothing to do with the narcissist with his needs or with a shared fantasy only when you interact with other people such as friends or family.

In all these cases the narcissist is coerced into recalling that you exist apart from him, that you exist separately to him and this triggers him. He feels threatened, he feels frustrated, resentful and it lays him to be aggressive and this happens multiple times a day.

Imagine, ultimately the narcissist is exhausted by this process of amnesia and recall, forgetting and remembering, deleting you and resurrecting you. It's tiring, it's erosive, it's corrosive.

So the narcissist reaches a point that is only adaptive strategy is to eliminate you essentially somehow.

Metaphorically of course in the vast majority of cases but still it's a process of eradicating you, nullifying you, negating you, vitiating you, making sure you no longer exist in any meaningful way as an external object and this is the topic of today's warning. Listen to the end.

Nastiest don't do belonging, they don't do acceptance, they don't do society, they don't do social interaction, they don't do positive emotion, they don't do any of this.

Nastiestist sees you, envies you, wants to take over you, steal your life, scavenge, it's a scavenger, it's a parasite. He wants to become you by destroying you, he wants to become you by taking everything you have, everything you own, everything you work for, every idea you ever come up with, every person who's ever entered your life, every location you've ever been to, he wants to become you.

And the only way to become you is for you to not be anymore, to disappear. He wants to kill you, Nastiest wants to kill you, metaphorically or really in some cases, so that he can become you.

That's anchoring the narcissist's style, there's no other way the narcissist knows how to interact with people.

If he comes across an intimate partner, she becomes the anchor and he wants her, he wants to convert her into a totally imaginary figment in his shared fantasy, he wants to denude her of her humanity, separateness, individuality, independence, autonomy, agency, self-efficacy, he wants her dead.

The narcissist is focused on death, he reifies the death instinct where all other human beings subsist on libido, on the force of life, on Elon Vital, on Eros. The narcissist is the embodiment, the reification of the death instinct.

The narcissist is walking, talking, death. He spreads death around him, doesn't have to be physical death, often is not, but he kills people, he kills things, he kills relationships, he kills even his own fantasies and ultimately he kills himself.

Actually it all starts by having killed himself, the child exposed to abuse and trauma in early childhood, kills himself as a true self and is reborn as a narrative, as a piece of fiction, in other words as a dead object.

The narcissist from an early age has rendered himself dead so as not to experience hurt, shame and pain and rejection and then proceeds through life as the walking dead and he infects you with his own death.

He introduces you into his cycle of grieving and you're there shriveling, withering, losing drip by drip and drop by drop any hint of life that may have ever occupied you. You're dying together with a narcissist and he sees it as if he is giving you life, his life, the vampiric sort I can, I would say.

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How Narcissist Experiences/Reacts to No Contact, Grey Rock, Mirroring, Coping, Survival Techniques

Narcissists are victims of post-traumatic conditions caused by their parents, leading to ontological insecurity, dissociation, and confabulation. They have no core identity and construct their sense of self by reflecting themselves from other people. Narcissists have empathy, but it is cold empathy, which is goal-oriented and used to find vulnerabilities to obtain goals. Narcissism becomes a religion when a child is abused by their parents, particularly their mother, and not allowed to develop their own boundaries. The false self demands human sacrifice, and the narcissist must sacrifice others to the false self to gratify and satisfy it.


Do Narcissists Truly Hate?

Narcissists are often adult versions of abused children who fear intimacy and seek to provoke hatred in parents, caregivers, and authority figures. They act out antisocially and seek to destroy the source of frustration. The narcissist's hatred is not a stable experiential state, but rather a transformation of resentment and an aggressive reaction to frustration. The narcissist is heavily dependent on other people for the regulation of their sense of self-worth, and they resent this dependence.


SECRET Reason Narcissist Devalues, Discards YOU

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the mysterious behavior of narcissists, including devaluation, discard, and replacement. He explains that narcissists recreate the dynamics of their early childhood conflicts with their mothers through their intimate partners, aiming to achieve successful separation and individuation. The narcissist devalues and discards their partner as a way to separate from them, and this process is not the partner's fault. Vaknin also discusses how urbanization and the rise of cities have contributed to the increase in narcissism, and he predicts that the transition from cities to the metaverse will lead to a shift from narcissism to psychopathy.


Narcissists, Psychosis, Eternal Victims: Splitting the Inner Dialog

Narcissists feel like victims because of a disruption in their inner dialogue, leading to confusion between internal and external objects. This confusion is resolved through a defense mechanism called splitting, where the narcissist sees themselves as all bad and the world as all good, or vice versa. This can lead to dissociation and other mental health issues. Trauma and addiction can also be linked to this disrupted inner dialogue.


Why Narcissist Can't Get You Out of His Mind? (Introject Constancy)

Narcissists use splitting as a defense mechanism, which involves seeing themselves as all good and others as all bad. They idealize their partner, but then need to discard them to separate from their original mother. To do this, they devalue their partner by taking the idealized snapshot of them and imbuing it with negative qualities. However, they cannot get rid of the internal object, causing them to devalue and discard their partner in reality. This is due to introject constancy, where the narcissist creates internal objects that are constant and reliable, unlike external objects.


Narcissist's Cognitive Deficits

Narcissists lack empathy and are unable to relate to others, instead withdrawing into a universe populated by avatars. They are incapable of holding an external dialogue and all their dialogues are completely internal. The narcissist attributes their failures and mistakes to circumstances and external causes, while regarding their successes and achievements as proofs of their own omnipotence and omniscience. The narcissist pays a dear price for these distortions of perception, developing paranoid ideation and fading the reality test.


How Narcissist Snapshots YOU to Bad Object

The narcissist hates and needs you, and he internalizes and converts you into a bad object. This process is called snapshotting, and it involves creating an internal object that represents you and interacting with it. The narcissist's state of mind is that of a two-year-old, and he experiences his overpowering need for you as love, but it's actually hate. The narcissist's reactions to manufactured bad objects include anger, depression, and schizoid withdrawal states. The narcissist's psychosexuality is influenced by the schizoid state, leading to sexlessness and abusive transactional relationships. The narcissist's behavior in all relationships, including business and friendships, follows a similar pattern of grooming, devaluation, discard, and replacement.


Narcissist Between Shared Fantasy and Pathological Narcissistic Space

Narcissists appear unpredictable and complex, but they are actually simple, with the emotional age of a two-year-old. They are trapped between their need for a maternal figure in a shared fantasy and their desire to explore the world through a pathological narcissistic space. When they become disillusioned with either space, they transition between them using four strategies: termination, deception, undermining intimacy, and persecretory object fantasies. This constant movement between the two spaces creates the impression of unpredictability and capriciousness in the narcissist's behavior.


Idealized, Devalued, Dumped

Narcissists have a cycle of overvaluation and devaluation, which is more prevalent in borderline personality disorder than in narcissistic personality disorder. The cycle reflects the need to be protected against the whims, needs, and choices of other people, shielded from the hurt that they can inflict on the narcissist. The overvaluation and devaluation mechanism is the most efficient one available to the narcissist, as the narcissist's personality is precariously balanced and requires inordinate amounts of energy to maintain. The narcissist's energies are all focused and dedicated to the task concentrated upon the source of supply he had identified.


Discontinuous Narcissist: Fractured and Broken

The narcissist is a product of early abuse and trauma, leading to a world of unpredictability and arbitrary behavior. They deny their true self and nurture a false one, reinventing themselves as they see fit. The narcissist is adaptable, imitating and emulating others, and is best described as being and nothingness. Living with a narcissist is disorienting and problematic, as they have no past or future and occupy an eternal present. They do not keep agreements or adhere to laws and are inconsistent in their likes and dislikes.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2023, under license to William DeGraaf
Website Copyright © William DeGraaf 2022-2024
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