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20 Reasons to NOT Have Kids

Uploaded 1/4/2023, approx. 14 minute read

Okay, baby seals! I'm going to meet me some new baby seals in Budapest soon. And if you want to have a counseling session with me in Budapest, which is still the capital of Hungary, we can meet between the 20th, January 20th, and January 30th. 20th to the 30th.

All the baby seals are invited to join, two in particular, and maybe more.

So write to me at samvaknin@gmail.com. That's my email address and we will set up an appointment.


Now a point of order before we go to today's video. And just to clarify, the topic of today's video is to have children or not to have children. To kid or not to kid. That is the question.

I'm going to review literature as to why people refuse to have children. Why they don't want children anymore?

Throughout the world, everywhere, from China to Russia, from the United Kingdom to the United States, some parts, the number of children is not enough to cover up for the number of dead people. It's called the replacement rate. The replacement rate is under 2.1. That means the populations are aging and shrinking.

Why do people not want to have children?

These bundles of joy and happiness.

But before we go there, whenever I mention, whenever I analyze, a despicable, rotten, perfidious, truly corrupt, fake character, all of you immediately write to me and surmise that I'm referring to Richard Grannon. I wonder why. I don't mention his name almost anywhere.

The only two times I mentioned Richard Grannon's name was to announce that I will no longer be collaborating with him under any circumstances, if he were the last man on earth, and that I'm not involved or associated with, nor do I, of course, endorse any of his products. These are the only two times that I've mentioned his name.

All the other videos that refer to predators and really, really horrible people, I don't mention his name at all.

So why is he the first person to come to mind? Why do you write to me? Asking me, commenting, speculating, gossiping. It's not nice. It's really not nice.

Okay, Shoshanim and baby seals from lightweight, pure, royal wannabes to serious matters, kids, children. It seems that there is a kind of global decision by populations all over the world to not become parents. Parenting is out of fashion. Parenting is deemed to be irrational.

Is there any grounds for this? Are there any grounds for this? Is it rational to not be a parent?

Let's review the evidence.

Now, in the description under the video, I'm going to place all the references to whatever it is that I'm going to say. So, just in case of doubt, just go down, click on the links and feast on do-it-yourself research.

Let's start with your health. It seems that kids are bad for your health. Yeah, you've heard me right. These bundles of joy are also bundles of illness.

According to researchers at the University of Minnesota, mothers, I'm quoting, mothers consume more calories and get less physical activity than women with no kids. You wouldn't believe it. Looking at mothers running after their kids in playgrounds. But this is a fact. Men also have negative outcomes after becoming fathers, but mothers were most affected. Many mothers, majority of mothers, transitioned to a much higher body mass index, BMI. They ate less healthy food and they consumed more sugary drinks, total calories, saturated fat. Both types of parents, mothers and unfortunate fathers, also exercised less than people without children.

All in all, it seems that kids take away, shave off years from your life expectancy.

Children's bed is COVID-19.

Okay, you say, but you know, we are amply compensated because children are happiness, children are joy, children are cheer. Right? Wrong. Kids are seriously bad for your mental health.

Now, this is not a single study. These are dozens of studies in all cultures and societies all over the world, over seven decades.

As the Atlantic puts it, parents are at risk for depression. Parents are less happy than their childless counterparts.

I'm going to repeat this because it sounds counterfactual, but it's the truth. Parents are less happy. And when I say less happy, I mean like a lot less happy than their childless counterparts.

While many assume that having children is the key to happiness, there is evidence that proves the contrary. In fact, depression appears to be a common side effect of having children.

You have been warned.


Okay, what about stress?

Yes, kids are there too. Kids create a lot of stress. They are stress engines. They are stress machines.

Kids really stress parents out. They demand time. They insist on attention. They put stress on your pocketbook, of course.

According to a study published in Science News, and I'm quoting, "When the daily stress of parenting becomes chronic, it can turn into burnout, which of course can have serious consequences for parents and children alike."

So, there are many good reasons to have children, you say. Let's continue to peruse the evidence.

Let's try to find one because reviewing the literature, well over 600 studies, I couldn't find a single good reason to have a child except what society tells you and your family.

It's like misery likes company. Your parents were miserable because of you, and now they want you to be miserable because of their grandchildren.

Kids are seriously bad for your romantic relationship.

And I'm quoting, "No Less An Authoritative Source" by CNN, which quotes a series of studies.

So, according to the CNN, your romantic relationships suffer once you have children.

Now, this comes as no surprise to the vast majority of parents.

Researchers found that, I'm quoting, "The rate of the decline in relationship satisfaction is nearly twice as steep for couples who have children than for childless couples.

Instead of being lovers, you are now parents, which is a full-time, all-consuming job. Your focus tends to be on the children, not on each other, not on your spouse.


Okay, what about income?

In the past, children were considered a kind of insurance policy. You brought children to the world because they could work with you in the farm or in the factory and they could take care of you in old age. So, you brought children to the world as a form of annuity.

But today, the situation is reversed. Raising kids is not cheap. This world is very complex, modern, developed. The high price tag of having a baby is a major deterrent.

When people are asked, "Why are you not having babies?" they often quote money.

According to MarketWatch, as of 2015, American parents spend on average $233,610 on child costs from birth until the age of 17 and this does not include another $100,000 on college. That's close to half a million dollars.

The number in Switzerland is a million Swiss francs. Children are by far the most costly investment and venture anyone would have in a lifetime.

Kids also demand resources. They consume resources. For example, kids disrupt your sleep. They cause insomnia, especially newborns. They keep you up at night. It's not just newborns, by the way. Older children get sick, they have nightmares, they need to go to the bathroom. I don't know what. It's no wonder that, according to studies reported by the Guardian, new parents face up to six years of sleep deprivation.

And as any medical doctor would tell you, sleep deprivation is closely linked to risks of the increasing risks of dementia, stroke and heart attack.

Who said children are not healthy?

Now, kids are bad for your sex life. Remember sex? Vaguely? You remember what to put where and why?

Because kids make you forget. Sexual intimacy tends to decline after you have a baby.

Doctors suggest that women abstain from intercourse for four to six weeks after childbirth. And after these six weeks, women may still experience and often do experience pain during sex. Sex also takes a nose dive because of fatigue, hectic schedules and a very negative body image. Stretch marks, anyone? Not to mention caesarean incisions.

Okay, you say, forget us. Let's look at the bigger picture. Let's look at the planet.

There's nothing more terrible for the environment than children.

According to a study reported in The Independent, I'm quoting, "Having children is the most destructive thing a person can do to the environment. SUV is nothing compared to a child.

A child pollutes a lot more than any SUV. You can save, according to studies in Sweden, you can save 58.6 tons of CO2 equivalent emissions per year per child that you don't have.

So every year you're saving 60 tons of CO2 by not having a child.

Take into account that the average life expectancy of your child is 80 years and multiply 80 by 60, it's 5,000 tons of CO2 per child unborn.

If you give up on your car, you save 2.4 tons of CO2 equivalent per year.

A child pollutes 27 times more than any polluting car imaginable and babies make a lot of trash. Every year babies in North America alone are responsible for using 30 to 40 billion, you heard me correctly, 30 to 40 billion disposable diapers that end up in landfills in the United Kingdom.

There's an estimated 3 billion diapers thrown away every year.

Now I have no idea why babies in the United States use 10 times as many diapers as or adjusted per capita use three or four times more diapers than babies in the United Kingdom, but it's a shitty situation in any case.

Coming back to your pocketbook, your earning power and your secure future, kids demolish your earning power.

Having kids negatively affects the parents' ability to make money, especially if you're a woman.

According to the US Census Bureau reported in today's Parent, women with children between the ages of 25 and 35 are most affected by the gender age gap.

Why?

Because young children and young careers are mutually exclusive, they're both highly demanding, you have to sacrifice one of them.

Kids can also make it tough for you to get a relevant education.

According to the same source, which is the US Census Bureau, women who have babies very early and women who have babies, babies very late are less affected by the gender wage gap.

However, there's a catch. Women who have children too early tend to be less educated, lower earning people.

Okay, you see, money is not everything in life. There are friends and friendships. I should know, I just lost onefake as he may have been.

So kids cause you to lose friends, also unfaithful partners, but kids definitely do. Kids cause you to lose friendsdue to a lack of time, busy schedules, changing priorities, whatever the reason may be, kids have a negative impact on your closest friendships. These friendships change or dissolve all together.

And this is the source is psychology today.

Kids damage not only your friendship, but the totality of your social life. They make it very tough to navigate a social life in many ways.

You're too tired to stay up late. You can't go out, you can't afford a babysitter. You cannot afford to have a hangover because you have to be up at the crack of dawn the next morning. You name it, kids imprison you, they shackle you, they hold you hostage, forget about social life.

And consequently, the cumulative stresses lead to divorce. Your romantic relationship and your sex life suffer once you have children. And if this is left unchecked, this decline eventually leads to a divorce.

Parents may be dissatisfied in their marriage, but ironically, the likelihood of them actually getting divorced declines with having children.

So there's a dual impact here. If you start off by being unhappy in your marriage, and then you have a child, the likelihood of divorcing declines. But if you start off being happy in your marriage, and then you have a child, the likelihood of divorce skyrockets.

That's perhaps because unhappy partners feel that they must stay together for the sake of the children, despite being unhappy.

And back to climate change. I said that children contribute to climate change, but they contribute to climate change in a variety of ways. For example, by being driven to school. According to Ontario's transit agency Metrolinx, as reported in the Global Mail, I'm quoting the percentage of 11 to 13 year olds walking to school in the Greater Toronto and Hamilton area nearly halved between 1986 and 2016. While the number of kids being driven in cars nearly tripled.

Back to your relationship. Back to your relationship with the mother of your children, or the father of your children. There's no me time. There's no me time left, let alone together time.

According to a study reported in the Daily Mail, the average mum has justhold your breath. The average mum manages only 17 minutes, that's one seven minutes to herself a day. That's three cigarettes and two coffees. That's right, not even a full half hour.

Why? Because today's mum's work raised the children into the lion's share of the housework. There's no time left for themselves.

I mentioned kids education, college. If you want your kids to succeed in life, and who doesn't, you will likely want them to go to a good school and then off to college. Can you afford this?

In the United States, the average cost of a private school is $12,218 per year. The average total cost of public college per year is $25,290 in state and $40,940 out of state and that's per year. The average total cost of private college per year in the United States is $50,900 per year.

So you say, okay, but my kid will study and then we move out and have a life of his or her own, family, children.

Not true.

Well over one third of children or people under the age of 35 live with their parents with a high cost of living and increasing number of young people are opting to live with their parents well into their 20s and their 30s. That's a global phenomenon from Italy to the United States. And then they take your car and they rack it. That's one of the most common phenomena with children.

Youngnewly licensed drivers are at a much higher risk of having a crush than older, more experienced drivers. Forget a fancy car. Opt for a bitter until the kids have moved outif they ever move out, that is.

And if they don't move out, they're going to ruin your car. Rack it time and again, not to mention your clothes.

Kids tend to have sticky fingers like some bankers and financiers. Kids, these fingers are covered in chocolate and accidental substances. There's vomiting, smutty noses. Kids are filthy, they're dirty and they share their feels generously with the ones they love most. Sharing is caring. Dirt sharing is dirt caring. There's a reason why so many parents opt for sweatpants.

And if I didn't dissuade you by now to not have children, my services are available. I can give you counseling. I can talk to a colleague to give you medication. Something is seriously wrong with you. You're not well. Possibly because you already have children. See you later, baby seals.

[BLANK_AUDIO].

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