Narcissistic Youth Sexlessness: Porn and Relationships in a Dying World

Uploaded 6/12/2020, approx. 39 minute read

I remember vaguely what it involves. I can't quite figure out if it's a solitary activity or involves partners. What does it matter?

For a narcissist, in any case, it's a solitary activity, whether there's someone there or not is absolutely besides the point.

Today, we are going to discuss modern sexuality and how it had become a totally solitary activity, an activity which in many ways had become utterly narcissistic.

We're going to start with a very new development in the study of human psychosexuality, and it's known as spectating.

But before we go there, I must tell you one thing which may come as an absolute shock to most of you.

My name is Sanvakni, and I am the author of Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited. I'm also a professor of psychology in several universities, which is something most of you don't know.

So, spectatoring. Spectatoring is when you worry about how you look and how you sound while you're having sex. Why would you worry about how you look and how you sound while you're having sex?

Because you've been watching pornography.

A growing number of men and women watch pornography. We'll come to it a bit later. And as they watch pornography, sex is becoming a spectacle, and they begin to compare themselves unconsciously to the actors and actresses on the screen.

When they do the deed in reality with a partner, they become very self-conscious and self-aware, and they direct themselves. They become actors in their own production of a porn flick.

Now, spectatoring, which has been documented in 57 studies, by the way, has several very problematic effects.

First of all, it puts distance between the allegedly, ostensibly intimate partners.

If you're participating in a movie and you're subject to your own direction, then you're worried. Your mind is focused on postures, positions, angles, and sounds.

Many women are trying to imitate the moaning and groaning of porn stars, porn starlets. Many men are trying to imitate the muscular virile look of the classical porn actor.

And this is coupled with other trends documented in recent psychological studies.

First of all, there's a growing shame in one's body. There's an inhibition of nudity or nakedness. People are much more self-aware when it comes to their bodies, and they're trying to hide their bodies. Hide their bodies under garments, under an attire or uniform, or when they go to showers, make sure that these showers are private and not public. Gang showers, out of fashion, out of vogue. Even in prisons, many showers have become totally private, I'm told.

And so instead of engaging in real sex, and because sex had become a movie, production, a theater stage, a porn flick, something one step removed, not directly experienced, more and more people prefer sexting to real sex. They prefer to exchange photos and videos, explicit ones, which document and depict their extracurricular and activities, mostly when they take things into their own hands.

So another advantage of sexting, accept the fact that it can be staged, and accept the fact that you can show your best, you can put your best foot forward, or any other part of your body forward.

Another advantage is that sexting, for example, photos and videos can be cropped, can be photoshopped, can be tampered with. Anyone who has been on Tinder or Grindr or any matchmaking website or KQP or and so on, knows that a big portion of the photos on these websites is utterly fallacious, does not convey real information.

Social media and the use of pornography have been documented to increase anxiety and body image problems. This has been documented in several countries, in the United States, in the Netherlands, in the United Kingdom, and even in Asian countries.

Some scholars, like Debbie Herbeneck, came up with the starting conclusion that 25% of a population feel very bad about their bodies, are utterly ashamed of their bodies. A majority of these felt bad about their genitals and this has a serious effect on sexual functioning as we will go into a bit later.

There have been a total of 60 studies about the emerging connection between body dysmorphic disorders, the wrong perception of one's body, usually wrong negative perception of one's body, and the inability to function in a sexual setting.

Now what's common to all these things?

Gnosticism, of course.

Spectatoring is about Gnosticism. It's exactly how the Gnostist sees the world. He feels that he's an actor in a movie.

And body image problems also have to do with Gnosticism. Gnosticism is notorious for having body image problems. Cerebral Gnosticism detests their bodies, regard them as containers which require consumed maintenance and waste resources. And somatic Gnosticism uses their bodies to obtain Gnosticism, supplying. That includes also histrionic women.

So body image issues are very narcissistic and intimately linked to Gnosticism.

But here we are not talking about Gnosticism. We are talking about the general population. These are trends that are beginning to affect sizable minorities in the general population. These trends started out 25 years ago exclusively among Gnosticism or histrionics. And now they're spreading like contagion into the general population.

There are scholars, such as the aforementioned Herbony, that suggest that the decline in actual sexual activity is good because, using a feminist argument, women are avoiding coercive or unwanted sex.

A few years ago, about 11 thousand nine, there was a national survey of sexual health and behavior. And even at that time they discovered that there is a surge in popularity of sex toys and a massive increase in heterosexual anal sex.

Now here's another example of a practice that starts with a minority among homosexuals and spreads into the general population.

Now anal sex is not only homosexual, but it also happens to be highly narcissistic and psychopathic. Not because it's not pleasant. Anal sex could be very pleasurable and quite an experience.

Why not? It's part of the repertory. You know, both parties have the necessary equipment. And this equipment happens to be compatible, luckily for us.

But anal sex, by definition and by its construct, is more impersonal. You're from behind. You don't see the person. There's no face-to-face contact. It's objectifying. The person is perceived as an object. Precisely because there's no face-to-face contact.

And very often, much more often than you know, it's actually sadistic.

University of Chicago survey in the 1990s, I think it was 1990, reported that 20% of women in their late 20s had tried anal sex. In 2012, the rate of women who had experienced anal sex went up to 40%.

And so anal sex is very prevalent and very common in pornography. Again, we are seeing the influence of pornography. Pornography is a highly narcissistic industry. And the fringes of pornography are highly psychopathic, aggressive, sometimes even violent. And so we see a rise in practices that are depicted in pornography, such as anal sex.

But we also see, for example, that most young people, shocking statistic, most young people are likely to engage in sexual behaviors that are very common in pornography, suchchoking or facials.

Don't ask. In 2012, 30%, 30% of women said that they had experienced pain when they had vaginal intercourse. But 72% of women experienced pain during anal intercourse.

So for a woman, anal intercourse is a painful experience. They don't communicate this to their partners, usually.

For a simple reason, most anal intercourse is non-consensual. You heard it right. People start off consensually, they go to bed, or they undress and go to bed. And they're expecting to have, at least the woman is expecting to have a vaginal experience, oral and vaginal. And then suddenly, the man turns her around and rapes her.

Because non-consensual sex is a very nice, very long phrase for rape.

Overpowering the woman, anal experience, choking, these are all, all, porn staples. They're all psychopathic behaviors. They're all impersonal, objectifying, or whorish behaviors. The woman is treated as a slut, Madonna, or complex. Women got so accustomed to this kind of mistreatment that majority of women have reported in recent studies that to be a woman is to experience physical discomfort and pain in sex, and that's why they are avoiding sex altogether.

There's a Professor Lucio Scullo, psychology professor at the University of New Brunswick, and she published research documenting a very high rate of sexual dysfunction among adolescents and young adults.

Many of these people, adolescents and young adults, presumably hormone-fueled and driven to sexual access, actually were sexually abstinent and chose celibacy over sex. The majority of them took very long breaks from sex and even longer breaks from dating.

And when they were asked why, many of them reported sexual assault as the reason.

It's interesting to note that even 10% of men reported sexual assault as the reason, and almost all of them reported depression induced by sex.

This is a shocking picture whereby the entire generation, several generations under the age of 35, are experiencing massive sexual dysfunction induced and introduced by narcissistic and psychopathic pornography practices, mores, and thought-thinking patterns, cognitions.

The London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine documented the same phenomenon.

Boys in this study imitated pornography, anal sex. They wounded girls. They anally raped them. Choking was very ubiquitous, well over 70%. Started the sexual sex session by choking the girls.

And so it's little wonder that people are avoiding, young people at least, young I mean under the age of 35, are avoiding each other. If they don't avoid each other, it might lead to sex. And sex is becoming dangerous and painful. And so they all migrated online to the digital, safe, secure world of dating apps.

And when you ask young people, what is the use of dating apps?

The answers are totally counterintuitive. You would think the dating apps are for, hold your breath, dating. But they're not.

Most people who use dating apps use them as a form of entertainment or diversion. And they have close to zero expectation of meeting up in person. Actually, a small majority said that they are averse to meeting in person. They said that they're using dating apps as an ego boost, or to quote one of them, the gamified interaction.

There was another study conducted in Stanford University. And this study revealed that when people do finally meet, having first correspondence via dating app, matchmaking website, when they do meet, these couples stay together. And, and they tend to get married more quickly.

So it's not the dating apps mismatch people. It's not that they get it wrong.

It's that people are afraid of face to face interactions. Dating apps provide so many choices and so many options that they lead to something called option paralysis, or choice overload.

This was a term which was invented and popularized by Dan Savage in his great book, A Million First Dates.

So dating apps are selective in two ways.

First of all, they provide people with the alibi to not meet. It's exactly like social media, the cousins of dating apps.

What is social media? Social media is an excuse to not socialize. People who use social media meet far less frequently meet up face to face far less frequently than people who do not use social media or use it to a lesser extent.

Social media substitutes for real life social interactions, as we are discovering this pandemic.

Dating apps are doing the same. They substitute for real life dating, that's the first selective impact of the dating app.

Mate selection is becoming indiscriminate because people do not expect to meet and do not expect to meet.

And the second thing that dating apps do, they render good looking hot people popular.

In 2009, the dating service OKCupid reported that male users who were rated physically attracted by females got 11 times as many messages as the lowest rated men. Medium rated men, not too hot, not too cold, medium rated men received four times as many messages as the lowest rated men.

About two thirds of messages went to one third of women who were rated most physically attractive. That was a study in the University of Michigan and the Santa Fe Institute. And they also discovered that people who use dating apps, they pursued prospective mates who were 25% more desirable than they were.

Now you could ask why? Why would anyone do that?

Well, precisely in order not to consummate, precisely in order to not meet and to not mate and to not copulate.

If you pursue someone without of your league, you are immersed and ensconced in the safety of knowing that it will never come to anything.

And here I must interject a vicious commentary.

Why a vicious commentary? Because I'm vicious, because I love to comment.

Alpha males.

Having posted a few videos about the Manosphere, I have received an avalanche of responses from meektows, men going their own way, red pillows, black pillows, and other addicts.

And what they were all saying is that women tend to choose alpha males. I'm wrong, because in these videos, I cited a very long series of recent studies that show, these studies show, that men tend to choose better males.

They choose more pleasant, kind, and honestly submissive males, because women have become much more narcissistic, not to say somewhat psychopathic. And women want to dominate. They want to control the situation. They want to feel empowered. They want to make the decisions about anything and everything from the drinks in which bar to the hotel room in which sex.

So women want to dominate the interaction.

And so a better male is much more likely to get laid in casual sex, much more likely to have a one night stand than an alpha male.

Of course, I immediately received the avalanche that I'm utterly wrong. And all I should look at is statistics from Tinder, which shows that women swipe much more swipe right, much more attractive looking males.

Well, here is breaking news for the intellectually challenged denizens of the manosphere in all its variants.

Here's the breaking news. Alpha males are not males with muscles. Combat one, it's complicated. I know slowly, rewind it, replay it. I know you're in the manosphere, but you will get it finally.

Alpha males are not males who have muscles. Alpha males are not males who are good looking. I mean, alpha males can be good looking. Just look at me. Alpha males can have muscles. Don't look at me, but they don't have to.

An alpha male is someone who is endowed, has endowments, intelligence, sense of humor, for example, are much more important to women than muscles. Someone who has life accomplishments, someone who has a healthy psychology and a strong core, someone who is reliable, someone who is communicative, someone who dominates his environment without being a jerk, vain, grandiose, pompous, and verbose. In other words, without being vain.

This is an alpha male.

Now, some alpha males cultivate their bodies as much as they cultivate their minds. But your average run-of-the-mill bodybuilder is not an alpha male. It's a loser with muscles.

Now, you go into all these conventions of manosphere and red pill and black pillowsand all they talk about is how to develop the muscles.

Well, I guess if you don't have much of a brain, you would try to develop your brain and muscles.

What do you do if you don't have both? Probably you join the manosphere, miktau, incels, red pillows, and black pillows. And you come up with nonsensical observations using phrases you don't understand at all, like alpha males and evolutionary psychology.

Right, we got that out of the way. Let's go back to serious business with half-intelligent people.

Casual sex is way less satisfying than relationship sex. That has been substantiated in I don't know how many studies, the most recent of which is by these sociologists, Paula England of New York University. In her studies, 31% of men and 11% of women had orgasm in casual sex. Isn't this a shocking number? Even in one night's tens, only one person of men ejaculate.

Because the male orgasm cannot be faked. Either you make it or you break it. And even then, 69% of men didn't have sufficient hard-on or erection to ejaculate. And only 11% of women had orgasm. That's in casual sex. In relationship sex, the figures are 84% of men, 84% of men, and 67% of women had orgasm regularly.

So, not question whatsoever, that if orgasm is your thing, you should find a stable long-term relationship. Because your partner gets to learn your preferences and so on and so forth.

The 2017 Singles in America survey was led by Helen Fisher, anthropologist. And she teamed up with the Kinsey Institute, which is the leading institute for sex studies in the United States. And she found, they found yet another disturbing number. Single millennials, millennials are like 35 years old. I mean, the oldest ones are about 35 years old. Single millennials were 66% less likely than previous generations to enjoy receiving oral sex. Especially the women.

The women were averse to oral sex, not the men.

This is the common myth.

Now put the two together. Casual sex is highly dissatisfying, highly dissatisfying. And 66% of young people under the age of 35 are having less sex. They're having less sex, but when they're having sex, they're having casual sex.

When you put the two together, what do you get?

None of them has an experience of good sex. They don't have relationships. They hate, they hate the good parts of sex, like oral sex. They're influenced by pornography, which pornography means pain, objectification, bad sex.

And then they take all these baggage and they are having hookups in one night's sense and casual sex when they do have sex. We'll come to it in a minute. And casual sex sucks. Even if there is sucking in casual sex, it still sucks.

No one can come in casual sex. It's not working.

And one of the main things that is involved in casual sex, that prevents people from enjoying casual sex, is the aforementioned narcissistic inhibitions. You remember how we started the video when we were all much younger, that people hate their bodies, that they are ashamed of their bodies, that they don't want to show their bodies. Of course, this makes sex, especially casual sex, especially casual sex when you don't know your partner, makes sex very awkward, very unpleasant, very anxiety increasing.

And indeed, most women reported that they feel anxious in sex, most young women. It's all about the young generations, that they feel anxious during sex.

So inhibition is something, anything, that interferes or prevents aroused poor body image, I mentioned.

But another reason for inhibition is that people have too much on their minds. Again, we'll come to it in a minute.

Emily Nagoski wrote a book and she suggested that inhibitions are more powerful than the excitatory system. In other words, your wish to have sex, your need to have sex, your drive, your urge to have sex is less powerful than your inhibitions.

If you're inhibited, you're not going to have sex. Do you understand now?

Why about two thirds and in college settings, more than 80% of men and women had sex only after they got drunk because they needed to reduce their inhibitions.

And even so, a sizable minority reported close to 40% reported sexual assault. And a majority reported rising depression and anxiety rates.

Sexual assault, depression, anxiety, and antidepressants all reduce desire.

Shocking, isn't it? You would have thought differently. Sex enhances happiness, but unhappiness reduces sex. And it's a vicious circle. You're unhappy. You don't have sex. You don't have sex. You're more unhappy. You're more unhappy. You have even less sex. It's a vicious cycle. And it's a vicious cycle that is very, very typical of narcissists, even somatic narcissists. It's a somatic narcissist, his master base with his partner's body.

As far as a somatic narcissist is concerned, his partner is an animated dildo. If he's a woman or homosexual or a sex doll, if he's a heterosexual somatic narcissist, again, we are seeing linkages to the rising tsunami of narcissism, narcissistic traits, behaviors, and personality styles among the young documented at the time by Twenge and Campbell before they retracted some of their studies.

People don't, I mean, we don't understand that sex is use it or lose it. It's not like riding a bicycle. And I've done both. I failed in one. I will not tell you which.

Sex is not like riding a bicycle or driving a car or whatever. It's not a skill that you acquire once and for example, people who are sexually experienced at age 18, sexually inexperienced at age 18. Now sexually experienced is a very long phrase for virgins at age 18. About 80% of them will become sexually experienced, will get laid by age 25. But the 20% that don't get laid by age 25 will have to wait another 20 years.

You heard me correctly. The 20% who don't getlaid by age 25 will get laid by age 45, according to a 2009 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

In other words, it's a make or break. It's now or never. It's use it or lose it. It's a skill that you have to exercise all the time.

According to Michael Rosenfeld of Stanford University, there's a problem. There's a problem because in every year that he has bothered to examine and to study, only 50%, 50% of heterosexual single women in their 20s went on any dates whatsoever.

And by the way, not dates that ended with sex, 2,000 of them did not end with sex, date. Date, like you want to have a drink? 50% went on a date.

Do you remember your math from school? If 50% went on a date, how many did not go on a date?

Yeah, you got it right. Probably you're not an insult. 50% did not go on a date.

The 50% that went on a date, left 50% who did not go on a date.

With all the women, women above the age of 25, the numbers precipitously collapsed. By age 35, fewer than 20% of women dated a man once in the preceding year.

Now, all these women reported depression, anxiety, sleep deprivation.

And so in one of the studies, they were encouraged to sleep one more hour, one hour longer.

The women who got an extra hour of sleep had 14%, one 4% more sex the next day.

In other words, one in seven suddenly had sex after she had one hour extra sleep.

So what I'm trying to say is, yes, there is rising narcissism and all these commitment outcomes.

Prozac is their body image problems, but it's also modern life.

Modern life. We don't sleep well. We don't eat well. We're under tremendous stress. We are subject to distractions, you know.

Laurie Brotto, which is an obstetrician, gynecologist at the University of British Columbia, she conducted research in the lab and she kind of injected background noise and all kinds of distractions and so on and so forth. And she measured, there's a special device, don't ask, which measures blood flow to the relevant areas. And so the more, the bigger the number of distractions, the more intrusive the distractions, the less arousal was experienced by men and women.

So modern life fucks up sex for us, provokes flight and fight responses.

Of course, the outcome of all this is a collapse in birth rates. Collapse in birth rates. Toys are us. When they went bankrupt, it's a chain of toys in the United States. When they went bankrupt, what did they say? They said, we went bankrupt because there are no children left to buy our toys.

Following birth rates, in 2017, there were half a million fewer American babies than in 2007. Seven. That's 10 years difference.

We're not talking like two centuries. Half a million fewer babies. And in 2017, there were more women at the age of childbearing, so there were more women available to bring children to the world, but far fewer babies and the number of children, the average woman declined from 2.1 to 1.76.

America actually needs immigration, just for the population not to be decimated. From 1991 to 2017, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, they ran a study, a survey called Youth Risk Behavior Survey. And they found that the percentage of high school students who have had intercourse, intercourse is a polite term for got-laid sex. So percentage of high school students who had sex dropped from 54% in 1991 to 40% in 2017.

A majority used to have sex when I was in my 30s. A majority are not having sex now, that I'm at an undisclosed age.

Well, you could say, well, it's because people are having more oral sex. They're not having more oral sex, actually. Women are having less oral sex.

Teen pregnancy rate plummeted by 70%. 7-0. Is that good news? Yeah, it's good news for the babies. It's good news for the teen mothers, or they wouldn't be teen mothers.

But it's an indicator. It's like a thermometer. It's like temperature, fever. It's a symptom, a symptom of sexlessness. The decline started exactly in the same period, more or less, in the 1990s.

And there's a woman psychologist that I keep quoting all the time because I love her work, Jean Twenge. And she works usually with another guy called Brian Temple. And she's a psychology professor at San Diego State University. And she published many articles and researches. She's a prime scholar of pathological narcissism. More recently, she focused on the younger generations.

And one of her recent books, a few years ago, I think, four years ago, is called iGen. And so she discovered that today's young adults have fewer sex partners than the two preceding generations. And people in their early 20s are two and a half times as likely to be abstinent than Generation X were at the same age. 15% of young adults today reported having had no sex whatsoever.

Even the Generation X and Baby Boomers, me, me, me, even we have less sex today than previous generations did. It's kind of a sexless age, the death of sex.

That's the title of my book, The Death of Sex and the Demise of Monogamy, now in its second edition.

From the 1990s until 2014, according to data from the General Social Survey, the average adult, so in 1990s, the average adult had 62 times a year sex. I should meet this adult and ask him for his secret. 62 times a year, wow, one can only dream of.

But now the same adult is having only 54 times a year, six. Let me say it's nothing, you know, eight, a drop of eight. A drop of eight is what, 15% drop? Are you kidding me?

Such changes used to take millennia. These are species transforming changes. They used to take centuries or millennia.

But the last time there has been such a change in sexual behavior, it took well over 300 years between the 17th century and the Victorian age. And the situation got even worse since 2016.

And this is confirmed by another survey, annual survey, called Singles in America. It's conducted by and Helen Fisher, they aforementioned anthropologists, rich, more or less the same conclusion.

So for more than 25 years, fewer people have been married, and people who got married, get married, get married much later. You could say, yeah, but who cares? There are many alternatives to marriage nowadays. You don't have to get married to have children. You don't have to get married to have a common household.

And that's all true. But marriage is again like a symptom parameter, an indicator. The share of people living together hasn't risen in the same period. There was a decline in marriage, but the share of people living together rose a bit, not enough to have said the decline.

So its consequence is 60% of adults. Are you listening well? I am mind-boggled by these numbers. 60% of adults, that's 6-0 under age 35, now live without a spouse, without a partner. 34% of adults under age 35 live with their parents, the kids, 35-year-old kids, they live with their parents.

Do you remember my previous videos?

Narcissism is intimately connected. If it's connected with anything, it's connected with this.

Refusal to grow up.

The narcissist is aware of Eterna, eternal adolescent, eternal child. He does not want to assume adult responsibilities and chores, not even sex. He does not want to be autonomous, to be independent. He parasitically feeds off his parents or someone else, the state, others.

And when he does live alone, he's a lone wolf, he's a schizoid, he's dysfunctional. It's like the Atlantic called it the sex recession. It's a sex recession, but it's a narcissistic sex recession.

People are in love with their bloody selves. They are so much in love with themselves, they don't have love for anyone else.

That's not me. That's another Jew, Sigmund Freud, much better looking than me. Sigmund, my old pal, said that if a libido is not directed at objects outside to someone, it's directed at yourself.

You become a bloody narcissist.

And so if you summarize all the studies and you ask why people are not having sex, so I will read to you the list.

The hookup culture, economic pressures, surging anxiety rates, psychological problems, widespread anti-depressant use, streaming television, environmental pollution, digital pornography, sex toys, dating apps, option paralysis, helicopter parents, carrism, the smartphone, the news cycle, information overload, sleep deprivation, obesity, decrease in childhood sexual abuse, as when you're abused as a child, you become promiscuous, changing gender mores, diverse sexual orientations, including asexuality, prioritizing school or work over love and sex, and a more discriminating mate selection.

I would add to that the previous argument that women are avoiding bad sex. In 2007, there was a study and people provided 237 reasons why they were having sex with other people. And I think there's at least this number of why they're not having sex.

Britain has, of course, a respectable sounding, venerable national survey of sexual attitudes and lifestyles. Everything in Britain is very proper. And this survey of sexual lifestyle, mind you, reported in 2001 that people between the ages of 16 and 44 were having sex more than six times a month. I don't know where all these people are. I'm here. Where are you?

Anyhow, these people between 16 and 44 were having six times a month.

So fast forward 11 years, 2012, 11 years, this rate dropped to 4.7 times. Australians, wild Australians in the backwoods, down under, went from having sex 1.8 times a week to 1.4 times a week. I don't know what they're doing with a 04.

There's a study in Finland called Finsex, appropriately. And it found declines in intercourse frequency along with rising rates of masturbation, probably to compensate for the declining rates of intercourse.

The last time, the last time, the average age of intercourse moved in any direction was in the 1960s to 1990s. And it happened after well over 150 years of stability.

Today, within, within five years, the average age went up one and a half years. People are having sex in the Netherlands one and a half years later than in 2012. And kissing also is delayed by up to two years.

That's the Netherlands, the most sexually liberated place on earth except possibly Reno, Nevada.

A recent study in Sweden suggested that Swedes are also having less sex, luckily for us because they're producing more movies.

In 2005, there was a study in the epicenter of sexlessness, Japan. The study in 2005, which started the whole mess with the Japanese awareness of disappearing sex in their island country or multiple island country.

So in 2005, this study discovered that one third, one out of every three Japanese single people between the ages of 18 and 34 were virgins. One third of Japanese people, men and women between 18 and 34 were virgins.

Fast forward 10 years, 2015, 15, 10 years, not 10,000 years, 10 years. This rate of virgins among single people up to age 34 was 43%. Almost half the population of Japan under 34 is virgin.

And even worse, when these people were asked if they intend to have sex, they said, no, we don't intend to have sex when we don't intend to get married.

There was a related survey in Japan and they discovered that 47% of married people in Japan were in sexless marriages. They were having sex fewer than 10 times a year, which is the definition of sexlessness in marriage.

The corresponding number in the United States, most recent study is 22%, 47% half, half the married couple couples in Japan, and not having sex.

What's wrong with these people? What's wrong with us? What's happening to our species?

Sex is no longer connected to procreation. It's not like we stopped having sex because there are too many of us.

First of all, the pandemic is taking care of that. But even without pandemic, you know, you can have as much sex as you want and not a single child.

It's no longer connected. There's contraceptives, there's the pill, there's this, there's morning after pill, even abortion, God forbid.

So why not have sex?

In Japan, there's a whole dictionary, a whole vocabulary to describe the varieties of not having sex.

Reminds me that in France, in the 17th and 18th century, there was a whole vocabulary about the varieties of sex with well over 10,000 distinct words.

It's like the Inuit are supposedly have many words to describe snow. The French had many words to describe sex, and the varieties of sexual practices, sexual preferences, and sexual and permutations of sexual partners.

The Japanese are the same, but for sexlessness.

So Shoku Shoku Danshi means grass eating men, herbivore men. These men are in two minds about pursuing women, sex, or success. Two in two minds about going out into the world. The herbivores, they're not carnivores, they're not hunters, they're not predators.

Then there is the HIKI KOMORI, apologies for all this. HIKI KOMORI are people who are shut in, like social distance, permanent social distancing, isolation, they never go out, schizoids, solitary vocations, solitary pursuits, along with their presumably laptop or something, I don't know what they're using.

Then there is PARASITO SHINGUU. PARASITO? Yes, you got that one right. Parasite, singles, people who live with their parents beyond the age of 20.

Then there is OTAKU. OTAKU are obsessive fans of anime and manga, obsessive fans of these comics. And they're so obsessed that they don't do anything else. And all of them are part of the SECUSU SHINAI SHOKOGUN.

You know what? Now that I'm exposed to Japanese language, no wonder they're not having sex.

Anyhow, this SECUSU something SHINAI SHOKOGUN means celibacy syndrome. Japan is among the world's top producers and consumers of niche pornography, niche pornography, the out of ranges.

Don't ask. It's also the leading country in the design of high end sex dolls, which come very, very close to looking, sounding, behaving, rotating and vibrating as real women do.

And then they have this enormous panoply of sexual aids. Some of them defy human imagination and belief, like globes filled with gel into which you insert whatever you were endowed with in order to ejaculate. I'm kidding, you're not.

And then they have ONAKUA, which are masturbation shocks, where you go to masturbate being and be watched by a female attendant. And all this is to avoid mendo kusai, tedium in relationships. Relationships are tedious, disgusting and wasteful. That's Japan.

Let's return to civilization.

Between 1992 and 2014, the share of American men who reported masturbating in any given week doubled to 54%. So it's now official. Half of American men are wankers.

The share of women who masturbated in 2014 tripled to 26%. presumably only 7 or 8% of women were masturbating in 1992, or 92% of women were liars. I'm not sure which is the case.

A study in 2008 found that over half of adult women had used a vibrator. How this sits well with the other study where only 26% masturbated, I have no idea.

In 2014, 43% of men watched pornography in the preceding week. 43% of men, or half, watched pornography in the preceding week. Are you getting this?

First of all, I am convinced beyond doubt. I would give my left nut, or whatever is left of it, that this is another state. I understand it by a factor of like two.

But even if it's true, God's honest pawns, honest truth, then half of men in the United States, many of them married and so, are watching pornography regularly, at least once a week.

So what's the problem with that?

The problem is that pornography reduces the desire for real life sex.

Now this breaking news. There are no studies. No studies prove that pornography is addictive. None. It stands to reason that it might create an addiction, but we don't have studies to support this claim.

However, we do have many studies that show, conclusively, that pornography reduces the desire for real life sex. Younger people regard pornography as a diversion and a piece of fiction, but it still affects their sexual habits. Also, it reduces the incentive to go out into the world and chase the opposite sex, presumably to have sex.

In 2017, the Journal of Population Economics, there was a study that linked broadband internet access to a 13% decline in teen birth rate between 1999 and 2007. You watch television, you don't have sex, you don't have sex, you don't have children, even as a teenager, amazingly.

One other person I love to quote, a scholar, is Lisa Wade. Lisa Wade had written many, many well worth reading books and articles and so, and one of her books is called American Hook Up. And she discovered that one third of students avoided hookups, actually. She called them abstainers. One third of students hooked up temporary, I mean, sometimes, occasionally, and she called them deadlers. Only about one fourth of students were enthusiastic hook-upsers. Hook-ups with non-hookers, hook-ups.

And the remainder were in long-term relationship. Start with a shocking fact. A tiny, tiny percentage were in long-term relationship. Tiny. And about, and a majority were hooking up pretty regularly. The hook-ups are casual sex. Whatever you do in a hook-up, it's casual. Whatever you do in a hook-up, it's temporary. Whatever you do in a hook-up, you have no intention to develop anything long-term.

As a maximal, your hook-up date can become a friend with benefits. And that's really the worst case scenario. But usually, it's a one-time thing. One-time thing.

In a 2014 study of college students, they found out that they were not having more sex or sexual partners than previous generation X. The online college social life survey conducted between 2005 and 2011 was, I think, the biggest survey ever. It was 20,000 students, college students. They found out that on average, there were 1.2 hook-ups per year. One-third of these hook-ups involved only kissing and touching, making out and petting. Majority of students were looking to find a long-term partner.

Now, let's put these two studies together.

The first study by Liza Wade and this study by the online college social life survey. What does it teach you if you put the two of them together? Majority of students want a long-term partner. They don't want to go on hook-ups. They don't want to have casual sex. They don't. They are bored. They detest one night stands. But they have no choice. The only sex available is casual sex.

And the other option is not sex. Relationship sex died, is dead. Teen romantic relationships have grown very uncommon. In 1995, there was a study called Add Health, and it found that 66% of 17-year-old men and 74% of 70-year-old women had experienced a romantic relationship in the preceding 18 months. These are huge numbers. Like two-thirds and three-quarters of young people had a romantic relationship.

Fast forward 19 years, 2014, the Pew Research Center asked 17-year-old whether, one, they had ever dated, two, hooked up, three, had a romantic relationship with another person. So this research, this study, covered all basis. Only 46% of 17-year-olds ever dated, ever hooked up, ever had a romantic relationship.

In short, ever had any contact with the opposite sex. 46%, majority didn't have any contact with the opposite sex. The percentage of teens who report going on dates decreased by 50% in 10 years. Dating among teens collapsed by 50%. At the same time, other adult activities, drinking alcohol, working for a pay, going out with other parents, getting a driver's license, all of them staples and hallmarks of being an adult, they also collapsed.

Is this not narcissism? Of course, it's narcissism. It's the wish to remain Peter Pan or the little prince forever, mommy's little prince, or your wife's Peter Pan in due time.

People spend up to 16 hours a day on non-relational activities, activities that do not involve other people.

Malcolm Harris in his book, Kids These Days, wrote a book. He documented it. He said that there is a decline in unsupervised free time which leads to desexing, I'm quoting.

Psychology Professor Alexandra Solomon of Northwestern University, she says that the hookup culture stunts the social skills needed to have a relationship. And she's the one who said that the choice today is between casual sex and no sex.

Relationship sex is so rare that it's considered widely among the young to be irresponsible. Love, they say, should be secondary to academic or professional success.

And so falling in love messes up your plans.

And if falling in love is frowned upon is considered irresponsible behavior, I mean, the sentence is so incongruent, so contradictory, that I am shocked even as I'm saying it.

Young people think that falling in love, romance, marriage, dating, long term are irresponsible actions to be frowned upon.

And so today, hitting on someone in person, for example, in a bar is considered creepy. When they were asked to label people who hit on them, they label them creeps.

Access to the opposite sex is exclusively through a dating app. But websites and dating apps are inefficient. According to statistics, for every 300 swipes, there's only one conversation of one and a half, one conversation, sorry. And this conversation lasts an average of seven days and consumes one and a half hours a day. And out of these, one in 300, one in three leads to face to face with one in 1000, one in 1000 swipes on a dating app leads to face to face meeting.

And until you get there, you need to spend 10 hours on average per conversation on typically 35 people. It's highly inefficient.

In 2014, an average user logged 11 times a day into his dating app, he spent seven to nine minutes per session, depending on seven minutes were the men, nine minutes were women. For every 1.6 billion, that's a billion with a B swipes, there were only 26 million matches. One of 300 of these led to a conversation, one of three of these led to a meeting, calculation. Only 0.3% of these matches led to anything, anything.

And then there's the Me Too movement. Me Too movement is partly about sexual harassment, but partly about entitlement. It is a movement against sexual assault, and harassment and sexual assault and harassment are horrible things, it should be eradicated mercilessly.

But the entitlement, narcissistic entitlement part of the Me Too movement, destroyed real life interactions, destroyed real life pickups.

No one eats on anyone anymore. No one asked anyone out anymore.

According to November 2017, there was a poll by The Economist, magazine The Economist and YouGov. 17% of Americans between the ages of 18 and 29 believe that if a man is inviting a woman out for a drink, he is sexually harassing her. Did you hear this? One in six Americans under the age of 29 thinks that to invite a woman for a drink is to sexually harass her.

And this leads to extreme hesitancy and tentativeness.

Anytime men and women are alone together, they look at their phones just to be on the safe side. Who wants to end up in prison? Loneliness and alienation lead to aggression. Look at the insults with whom I started the conversation. This is a violent group, vile and violent. Same with MGTOW, same with the red pillars, not to mention black pillars.

These are entitled, virulently narcissistic, self-centered, unintelligent, aggressive yaks.

UCLA professor Jared Diamond, he wrote that along with posture and brain size, sexuality completes the trinity of decisive aspects in which our ancestors diverged from the great apes.

We stopped becoming monkeys when we had a big brain, when we developed an erect posture, and when we developed a kind of choice sexuality or chance sexuality.

We are bizarre because we practice sex all the time. Humans have sex at times and in configurations where conception is impossible. We have sex when the woman is pregnant. We have sex when she has menopause. We have same sex partners, most of whom cannot get pregnant.

We are using body parts that we've never used for pregnancy and childbirth and I will not go into details.

And now we have given up on all this.

Intellect is derided and decried, nerds, stupid, experts, elites.

I mean there is an anti-intellectual, violent wave, sewer wave, away from the sewage of anti-elitism, anti-expertise, anti-intellect, anti-knowledge, anti-old people, anti-history.

So we gave up brain size as an advantage.

Posture, I don't know, have a look around you, no comment, sexuality. We are giving up sexuality.

We are reversing evolution. We're going to end up like great apes.

Many of many of us already are great apes.

Just look at some of your neighbours or people on social media or people in the manosphere.

Where is this ongoing dysnosticism that has now invaded and pervaded and contaminated?

Sex, the most beautiful, intimate, amazing interaction where men and women or men and women, never mind, or women and women become one, not in the sick codependent sense. They truly become one and in the act of orgasm they merge for a second.

For a second you can feel both yourself and another being directly without filters, without firewalls.

The beauty of sex is gone. The beauty of our minds is gone.

The pandemic is here. We are here and we are left with very few weapons, far fewer than we had even 50 years ago.

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Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the cultural shift from traditional dating to the prevalence of casual sexual encounters, known as hookups, among young adults, particularly in college settings. He highlights the psychological and emotional consequences of such encounters, including feelings of regret, shame, and increased rates of depression and anxiety. Vaknin also points out the role of alcohol and drug use in facilitating hookups and the discrepancy between the actual desires for intimacy and the behaviors exhibited due to peer pressure and societal expectations. He warns of the potential long-term negative impacts on mental health and relationship formation.

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