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Vaknin Rips Into Feminist: Genders, Sex, Relationships (Excerpts)

Uploaded 6/12/2022, approx. 21 minute read

Are you for real? Is this right, what you're saying?

Sometimes I think that feminism is a cult. You know, feminism and communism, they have many letters in common.

No, I'm not. No, I'm not. I'm sorry. Can we do something called science, like look at data and numbers?

You're amenable to this? Because I don't think you're going to like the... I don't think you're going to like what you're going to hear.

I'm sorry, of course I blame third-wave feminism. Third-wave feminism was a massive departure from first and second-wave feminism.

Do you remember the sex wars in feminism? I mean, first and second-wave feminists detested third-wave feminists, and for good reason. Third-wave feminism is a psychopathic corruption of psychopathic.

I insist on this. No, I'm not. It's not an exaggeration. I insist on this.

So you may wish not to put me in your documentary if you think I'm over the top.

Listen, whenever you're confronted with facts, you trot out this, you're a misogynist, or you are, it's hate speech. It's, I'm not a misogynist, and it's not hate speech. It's statistics. Statistics?

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, third-wave feminists were the worst thing that had ever happened to women. Women are less empowered today than they have been when my mother, within my mother's generation. Women are less empowered today than my grandmother used to be.

And it's all owing to third-wave feminism.

Not second-wave, definitely not first.

Devote, equal wage, fighting, pornography. It's all legitimate. And I'm delighted that we live in our society where women can contribute and relate to men as equals in some settings, like the workplace and so on.

But third-wave feminism, third-wave feminism was not about choice. No, it was not about choice. It was about empowerment.

Read the literature. I'm sorry, you're ignorant. I'm sorry, but you're ignorant. Read the literature. It's about empowerment.

What do you mean it's inclusive? If your main slogan is empowerment, then it's a power play. It's an effing power play because it's about empowerment.

Power, you know, it's power, P-O-W-E-R. It's empowerment. Make you more powerful. It's not self-empowerment because it was always related to women's relative positioning compared to men, always, in all waves of feminism.

And third-wave is no exception.

And definitely the fourth wave, intersectionality, is about minority, the power matrix, how to restore power, equally distribute power. It's all about power.

It's a power play. Men and women have been engaging in a power play since Adam and Eve. Remember the serpent and the fruit? It's all about power.

Yes, it's all about power. Women have been trading sex for money and services. It's power. Men have held power, no denying it. Patriarchy existed, of course, and men abused women for millennia. I'm saying it in all my videos. Have you bothered to watch any of my videos? I'm sorry. Did you do your research? Did you do your research?

Is this the way you treat every participant in this documentary? Allow me just to pity you. I'm sorry.

So do you want to hear what I have to say or not? I really have no time for indoctrination and propaganda. Do you want to hear what I have to say or not?

Yeah, I mean statistics. Are you interested? I don't care that you're a lesbian. Do you think that's why I'm lashing out at you? I'm lashing out at you because you blindly follow the party line. If you made up your mind, you don't want to let the facts confuse you because you've made up your mind.

But you can't argue with facts. Men invented the pill. Not Margaret Sanger. Men invented the pill. Pinkers in Jurassic. Men were the first ones at the beginning of the 20th century. Men were the first ones to advocate for casual sex. Men sparked the sexual free love revolution of my 1960s.

Yes. And the hookup culture. Who invented dating apps? Women or men? Men did all this. Men also opened the workplace to women, especially during the two world wars.

Even now, most corporate boards are controlled by men. They are the gateway keepers. 40% of primary breadwinners in many industrialized countries are female.

But men still keep the, I mean, men are the bouncers, if you wish.

Right. So, in you label all this feminism or women's empowerment, but these are all male self-centered acts.

They wanted you to be available for casual sex. It is very important. Very simple.

You can't avoid. No, you can't. It's an illusion. You can't exclude men from this narrative. 90% of feminism was men, not women. Had men not allowed feminism to become a dominant ideology, women would still not have the vote, would still not be allowed access to the workplace, no healthcare and no education. Nothing. Look at Afghanistan. Look what's happening in Russia.

If men were to decide to take away all your rights, you would be disenfranchised tomorrow.

Because men still have the power. You are women on the ascendants. I know I said it.

Women on the ascendants. But it's controlled from the bottom. They're coming. It's a grassroots thing. Exactly. Men are still there as gatekeepers.

I mean, consider, for example, language. The language we use to describe sexuality and sex. What do we say? We say penetration. Penetration is a male point of view. Why don't we say engulfment? The male's penis is engulfed by the vagina. It's equally accurate anatomically to say engulfment. But we don't say engulfment. We don't say engulfment. We say penetration. Penetrative sex.

It's in the scholarly literature. It's not only on the street. So it's still men. Men even control the language. There's no difference in importance or difference in involvement between a key and a lock. I don't know. A protein and a receptor. Reagent and a substrate. There's no difference between them. And yet the male point of view is that there is.

Many men would tell you the way a woman experiences sex is not the same as a man. And women have a different sex drive to men.

Exactly. Exactly. I think casual sex is a major disaster. Objectifies mostly women. Objectified.

I'm not saying this. I'm not saying that in relationship the situation is much better.

Abuse happens in relationships. Sexlessness happens in relationships 21 percent according to later statistics. Couples without sex. But couples are without sex because sex had been decoupled from intimacy.

And that has been your doing. That has been the work of third wave feminists mainly. To decouple sex from intimacy. To render sex a maintenance chore. A physiological act akin, I don't know, to eating. Or what's wrong with sex not being associated with intimacy. Sex is a major, possibly the only tool we have to express real intimacy.

No. You can't have 20 years of one night stands with zero intimacy and then suddenly switch to being intimate sex. You can't do that. End of story. Your brain is rewired. Rewired in the physical sense. You develop dopaminergic neural pathways that react to sex without intimacy. You learn to disassociate them. You learn to decouple them.

That minute after 20 years of such experiences there's no way on earth for you to switch back to intimacy with sex or to intimate sex. It's dead. It's finished. You learn to associate sex with novelty, new bodies, new smells, new tastes, new exercises in bed, new experiences.

So you learn to associate new conquests. You learn to associate sex with novelty and risk.

And how do you call that? How do you feminists call that? You call that sex positivity. Sex positivity. You're ruined. You're ruined.

The most important connection in the human condition between sex and love, sex and intimacy. And you call this sex positivity. It's not sex positivity. It's not sex positivity. It's not because one of the major dimensions of good sex is intimacy.

We have studies. I mean, I don't know how many studies that show that sex in committed relationships is much better than sex in one-night stands. The famous orgasm here. Especially for women, by the way. If you are a champion and proponent of femininity and womanhood, then you should know that casual sex hookups are bad for women. Hookups are good for men. They're bad for women. But eventually they're bad for both genders.

Because if you have a whole history of hookups and only hookups, you don't know how to do anything else. You don't know how to do. You don't know how to do intimacy. No, you don't know how to do. It's not like driving. It's not automatic. It's a skill. Intimate sex is a skill. It has to be acquired. It has to be practiced. Practice makes perfect.

So when you practice hookups, you are perfect at hookups, but you suck at intimacy. How would you have commitment without intimacy? Intimacy is not important. What on earth? What do you mean intimacy is not important?

So what is important? Self gratification, self-actualization and self-expression. Do you think you can really self-actualize fully without intimacy? Do you think there's such a thing as a human being with no connectivity to other human beings and that person would be happy or self-actualized? Where did you come up with this idiotic counterfactual perception?

No. No, you can't be happy without other people. Absolutely not. This is not self-actualization. This is indulgence. This is hedonism, materialism. Excuse me, what causes you happiness? Your smartphone, your Netflix, your cats, what do you have in your life? I can already tell you your life is empty. What do you have in your life, your miserable thing? No, I will not modify my language. I think you're miserable and I think you're a thing because if you regard intimacy as utterly besides the point, you're not fully human. I didn't say that. I didn't say that. Don't put words in my... I didn't say that. Casual sex has not been invented by you. Of course not. My generation invented casual sex. I'm not saying this. True. True. The newer generation, the younger generations engage in less sex than I did and had fewer sexual partners. Yeah, young people don't have sex.

I agree with you. I agree with you. But the practice is to not have sex and the ideology is sex positivity. Sex positivity means sex without intimacy.

Bad idea. Anything without intimacy is a bad idea, not only sex. Anything without intimacy is a bad idea, not only sex.

Imagine I told you, bring up a child without intimacy, raise a child without intimacy. Get married without intimacy. Intimacy is the organizing principle. The object relations school in psychology taught us that we are merely the confluence of all our relationships. There's no such thing as self, unitary, atomized, separate from everyone and everything.

Casual sex is nothing new. But in my time, casual sex was not the dominant or the exclusive practice. It was not the only sexual script around as it is today.

Today, people go and have casual sex. They don't expect to have relationships as we did. We had casual sex fully expecting to have a relationship. We were often disappointed, but we went into casual sex with this in mind.

You don't. You don't. You are using casual sex to delay commitment. Your commitment forms.

Maybe you were traumatized by the divorce. Maybe you were traumatized by your parents. The divorce rates and it's intergenerational trauma. You're post-traumatic.

The third wave of feminism is a psychopathic, post-traumatic response. Psychopathic, post-traumatic response.

In the cutting edge of psychology, now we realize that after trauma, there's a psychopathic self-state that is a protective self-state.

I think you're simply traumatized generations by us. By us. I fully accept responsibility. You're right. This is the first time we agree – a very worrying sign. I agree. We did this to you. I agree.

But what are you? But what are you? I don't know.

Roberts, what do you mean? We did it to you. You have a mind. You have a will. You have a conscience. You're more educated than previous generations.

I don't think allocating blame is a good exercise right now. Who cares about it? Listen. Who cares? Who cares? Why have we given up on love and intimacy? Career. A woman should first have a career. I'm not saying no. Of course a woman should have a career. And a man should have a career. Everyone should have a career.

How is that mutually exclusive? A career and intimacy. A career and a relationship. A career and love. How is that mutually exclusive? You're narcissistic, exactly like your entire generation. You're spoiled, indulgent, narcissist. Yes, you're entitled. You feel entitled. Love owes you nothing. Spoiled breaths, all of you.

Listen. I'm known for being blunt and honest. If you came here to interview me expecting political correctness and a nice guy, you're in the wrong address. I'm willing to try to tone down if you're willing to listen and not toe the party line that we always do.

Okay. We can try. I've made up my mind. Don't confuse me with the facts. No, I'm not giving you. I'm not giving you your opinion. You're entitled to your own opinion. But I want people in contempt if their opinions are not based on data and your opinions are not based on data.

You know what? Can I offer you an exercise if you are courageous enough? Yes, if you are courageous enough to defy your indoctrination, your brainwashing. Can I offer you an exercise? Can I give you a profile, a profile of the life of a typical modern woman?

Not such thing. Not such thing as typical modern woman.

Well, that would surprise many people in gender studies program.

Women, contemporary women in all industrialized countries, and even in countries like Mexico, China, India, and other countries, Israel, that are emulating the Western influence is disseminated via social media and mass media.

Can we agree on this? Contemporary. No, no, not modern. Contemporary. I don't know what's the difference, but okay.

You are very much into hair splitting with nitpicking with words. It's not a good trait. Let me give you a hint. You're in your 20s. Grow up. Focus on quality and essence, not on labels and descriptors.

It's another hallmark of feminism. You're focusing too much on labeling and descriptions and who does what to whom. It's all blame. Yeah. Blame, assign you blame. It's an orientation.

You're stuck in the past. You're stuck in the past. I'm sorry. You're still into bashing the patriarchy. Of course, I'm not denying this. Of course, there's still inequality and lack of equity and lack of equity and inequality. I agree. In some age groups, women earn more than men. So wage inequality is very misleading. Under age 25, women earn more than men. Under age 25, women earn more than men.

Are you listening? You're a cult member. I'm sorry. I treated cult members and you're a cult member. This cult is called feminism.

Okay. Can we do this? Can I give you a profile of a contemporary woman in the vast majority of countries in the world, unfortunately, today, even in Russia, even in China, even in India, even in Mexico, even in Israel, starting to be even in countries like Egypt and so on. So can I? Can I?

Listen, this is the only thing I'm willing to... Do you want to do this or not? Thank you. I appreciate that you allow me finally to say my piece.

So here's a profile of a... I'm delighted that you're passionate, but can we establish a protocol of civility and communication?

Let me finish what I have to say. Let me finish my piece. Don't interrupt me, please. It derails my train of thought.

When I'm finished, I'm open to questions, if you have any.

Can we agree on this in the discourse between men and women? Or are you part of the gender wars? And you are here to somehow subjugate me, humiliate me, guilt trip me and so on, because I happen to have a penis.

Thank you. It's extremely kind of you.

So here's a profile of a typical life of a modern woman. Sorry, not modern, contemporary woman in most, in all industrialized countries and other countries which are developing technically, but actually are pretty industrialized, like China, India.

This kind of woman, a contemporary woman, she spends most of her time working. She's working twice as long as she used to work. And she's sometimes trapped in jobs that she hates, with people she detests.

Yes, it's called a career. This kind of woman is burdened with a mountain of crippling debt. For example, student debt in the West.

This kind of woman deliberately acts and dresses as a slut. And she does this to attract men.

And you, feminists, you call it sex positivity or raunch culture. Actually, you had internalized the male gaze, the chauvinistic stereotypes of what it is to be a sex object. You're not sexual, you're sexy. So you dress and you act as a slut because that's what men want.

This is not empowerment. This is the most extreme form of disempowerment. This is self objectification in order to gratify men and casual men, random men, not even an intimate partner, just any men. Slut walks and slut pride. It's a joke. That's what men want. They want you to offer things for free and objectify yourself. They have no incentive to reciprocate in any way, shape or form, not even in the sex act. There's an orgasm gap. Women have orgasm far less than men in casual sex.

So this contemporary woman deliberately acts and dresses up as a slut to attract men. And then she has one night stands with total strangers. It's known as hookups. And then she has one night stands with near strangers. And this is known euphemistically as dating. That's modern dating. Modern dating is an opportunity for a man to pretend that he's interested in a woman in order to get her to bed.

Okay, yes. Irregularly and infrequently, the contemporary woman has sex with friends with benefits, or a reluctant temporary, so-called intimate partner because contemporary women don't have intimacy skills because they've spent decades in casual sex. And they didn't have any real relationships. They have pseudo relationships. I imagine it to be late. No, not now. Just let me finish. Let me finish.

I'm actually tackling this late. Just let me finish. One in 10 women, 8.3% offers sex on camera, even to random men, even to random men. That's not an act of self gratification or empowerment. That's desperation in my view. Desperation in my view.

Additionally, these women were found to have what we call dark personality. There's a clinical psychopaths and socially sexually unrestricted. One in 12 women participate in degrading group sex and kink.

Now, there's nothing wrong with group sex and kink. I had a lot of group sex, and I do kink in all my sex encounters. But they participate in degrading group sex and kink when they don't want to, just to be accepted and loved and liked. A shocking one-third of women are sexually assaulted because they disrespect themselves. And so they are disrespected. They have no boundaries, so everyone bridges them.

The contemporary woman flees and flees from one pseudo relationship to another. And I call them pseudo relationships because they are not relationships. They are partial, partial cohabitation, yes, intimacy, no intimacy, avoidance, coming, going two days a week, one day a week. These are not relationships. These are fakes intended to comfort the participants to believe, to delude them into thinking they are in relationships.

Most of these liaisons end up being sexless, abusive, and they last a few months only, luckily.

The contemporary woman has 90%, 90%, fewer friends than she did in the 1980s. She has more cats and Netflix, of course. She is far more likely to drink heavily and regularly. She is far more likely to suffer from mental health disorders, especially mood disorders, anxiety disorders, and substance abuse disorders. She is much more likely to self-medicate with drugs, including prescription drugs. She is 31% likely to remain a lifelong single and 60% likely to divorce more than once or to be a single mother. She is 20% likely to be childless even when she wants children. Increasingly, the contemporary woman gets pregnant via donor sperm in IVF procedures because she can't find an appropriate committed, invested partner.

Men don't want to invest and commit anymore because why buy the cow when you can get me as much as you want?

Yes, it's coarse, I agree. Yes, it's vulgar. It's life. It's called life. Life. You grow up, you'll see.


Let me continue, please.

You see, all this is the work of third wave feminism.

Women have arrived. They have become men.

Now they're empowered, yes? They're empowered because, you know, let me summarize.

They spend most of the time working. They're burdened with debt. They act and dress as sluts. They have one-night stands. They have pseudo relationships. They drink. They self-medicate. They have mental health disorders. They don't have any friends. They are childless.

So you could say that third wave feminism has been a major success. Bravo! I have never seen an act of self-sabotage, I have never seen an act of self-sabotage, self-destruction and self-defeat remotely akin or similar to third wave feminism.

You shot yourself not only in the foot but in every conceivable part of your anatomy. You're not empowered. You're disempowered.

These are not choices. These are not choices. You're desperate. Even when you're in your 20s, even you're all desperate. These are not choices. No one chooses substance abuse, depression, anxiety. No one chooses. No one chooses. One-night stands as a way of life. No one chooses to remain alone for the rest of her life. No one chooses to not have intimacy. Give me a break. No one chooses. No one chooses.

Well, maybe outliers. Companionship is an essential part of human psychology. When did I say that you should comply with abuse? The patriarchy is an abusive structure.

So, fight the patriarchy. Why are you fighting men? Why are you fighting men? Fight the patriarchy, not men.

I'm sorry, but you're a misandrist. I'm not a misogynist, but you're a misandrist. You hate men. I don't hate them. You're just angry at them. No kidding. I fail to see the difference.

I'm sorry, in your speech, I fail to see the difference between anger and hatred and revulsion and rejection. I don't know. It's up to youbetween anger and hatred and revulsion and rejection. I don't know. It's up to you. I don't know. I don't know the answer.

I think it's gone too far.

While you have phenomena like MGTOW, you're phenomena like MGTOW, men going their own way.

Right?

Women are doing the same. I agree. There's a cohort of bitter, disappointed, desperate, disillusioned, disenchanted women who never want to see men again.

And I have a surprise for you. Same goes for men. You've ruined it all. You've ruined it all not by becoming equal, not by introducing equity. These were good moves. You've ruined it all by usurping men's role in the world. Men have a role as well. Everyone has a role, but you wanted it all. You lost trust in men. Exactly. Yes. Yes. You lost trust in men.

And so you said we can't let them do anything. We can't have them do anything. We need to do everything by ourselves. We can't trust men anymore for anything, not even sex. Nothing.

Are you serious? I'm sorry. That's not true. 53% of men, 53% of men, college age men, and definitely after college are looking for relationships and can't find them.

Men are complaining that women are not up to relationships. They don't want relationships. They want to travel. They want to have fun. They want to go out with their friends. They want to act promiscuously. They want sex. Uncommitted. No strings attached to sex. Yes. Exactly. Exactly. They have become like the men of yore. They have become men.

But not all men were like that. But you are imitating the bad men of yesterday, the psychopaths, the narcissists, the womanizers. You are not emulating men of the past.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. My father has never been like this. They were good men, hardworking men, loving and caring men. You're not emulating them. You are emulating the shitty men. You are emulating the men that other men didn't want to have anything to do with. You're emulating womanizers. You're having random sex with strangers the way a tiny sliver of men used to have.

You made a mistake. Simply, you chose the wrong role models. Not all men were like that. Not true. Not true. Not all men were like that. Exactly.

That you believe this just goes to show what third wave is, that you believe this about men just goes to show how deeply feminism had poisoned you.

I never denied that there is toxic masculinity. I never denied this. Of course there's toxic masculinity. It's increasing by the way. Men are not becoming more feminine. It's a myth. It's not true. They're becoming more toxicly masculine.

You're radicalizing men. Am I putting all the blame on women? Are you kidding me? I just said that first and second wave feminism were fully justified. Women had been subjugated and enslaved and mistreated and murdered for millennia and they had a right to rebel against this. And I'm glad they did. And then they went too far.

Not too far in the eyes of men. They went too far in the sense that you are destroying yourselves. Your generation and previous gen, let's say millennials onward, millennials, Gen Z and so on. You're destroying yourselves. You are sentencing yourself to a life of loneliness. Self-degradation. Disempowerment.

Oh, give me a break. Give me a break.


So apartment prices are high. You know, previous generations had similar small problems like Second World War, the Great Depression, the Holocaust.

Compared to your problems, honey, you know, your problems are nothing. You're lazy. You're entitled. You're spoiled. You're narcissistic. Not you personally. Maybe you personally also.

But your generations definitely are millennials onward. You are pussies. Yes, it's a sexy stern. I'm using it on purpose to provoke you. You're all pussies and wizzles and lazy and spineless. I have only contempt for these generations. Only contempt. Previous generations have dealt with much more, like a million times more. Right. And they prevailed and they made you. And they prevailed and they made me. And they made me. Maybe. I wondered when you're going to say this. I thought you'd never say this. OK, boomer. OK. Got it. OK. Thank you very much. Thank you very much.

This conversation is over. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

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