The Well, Tantra is not exactly asexual. It's just a non-orgasmic.
But these are very, very interesting questions.
The cerebral's asexuality starts as an accident, in effect.
The cerebral focuses on his intellectual endowments, on his ability to analyze things, on his synoptic view of things, on his ability to synthesize various insights.
And he discovers, early on as a child, that his intellect or his intelligence gets him attention, Ghana's attention, especially from adults, which is very gratifying to the child.
He even discovers that his intellect gives him power over adults, respect, awe, and so on.
This is an irresistible proposition, almost a drug, which the child cannot resist.
And remember that narcissists get fixated at that stage.
So he comes to be nine.
By age nine, he had discovered that his outstanding intellect gets him attention and other goodies from adults, and then he freezes.
He doesn't continue to develop and say, well, okay, it's only one dimension of life, there are other dimensions, all this is missing.
He just froze at that second for the rest of his life.
And so the only lesson he gets from life is, if I use my intellect, I'm going to get attention, respect, obedience.
So this is the lesson, and the only lesson he has.
Nothing can be, no other function in his life, and no other dimension of his functioning, can ever be as good or reach the level of his intelligence.
He cannot fix things at home on the level of his intelligence, and he cannot have sex with someone, a woman or a man, never mind, which will reach the levels of his intelligence.
His intelligence is so perfect, such a well-honed instrument, so brilliant, so pyrotechnic, so technicolor, so amazing, so peacocktail, that it's extremely difficult to match it.
We have a tendency in life to repeat what we are good at, and to avoid what we are not good at.
I keep telling people, for example, you fail all the time because you're very good at failing.
You're an expert at failing.
We all do what we are good at, and if we fail all the time, we're very good at failing, and we will continue to do this, because we are a success at failing.
And so the same with the narcissist. He is very good at intellectual pursuits.
Why would he try anything else?
He has no incentive, he has a disincentive to try anything else, because if he tries anything else, it will contrast very sharply with what he is good at.
So it starts like this.
It starts by narcissists gravitating towards the preference of excellence.
Narcissist actually seeks excellence, which is a very good trait, you know?
But he is a radical, he is an extreme.
He seeks excellence but refuses to compromise.
So he goes through a process called constriction.
Constriction is when your life becomes more and more and more and more and more narrow, more constricted, more restricted, because you are a perfectionist, because you refuse to compromise, you refuse to accept the gray shades of the world.
It's not black and white, and this is called dichotomous thinking.
Now the reason the narcissist has dichotomous thinking, he refuses to accept gray shades.
It's everything good or bad, excellent or zero, you know?
He has dichotomous thinking because he is stuck in childhood, and children have something called splitting.
Splitting is a defense mechanism.
And splitting is when we think of the world in black and white.
Every person is totally good or totally bad. Every situation is totally acceptable, totally unacceptable.
Or I am 100% at what I do, or I don't do it.
So this is splitting, and the narcissist splits all the time because he is stuck as a child.
When we grow up and become adults, we don't split anymore.
We realize people have some good sides, some bad sides. Sometimes they are good, sometimes they are bad.
I don't have to be perfect in sex, I can just enjoy it. I mean, we stop splitting. We begin to see nuances of the world.
Narcissist doesn't have this.
So the cerebral narcissist, because he wants to be perfect, it also is a part of his grandiosity.
He focuses only on intellect and neglects everything else.
Not only sex, everything else.
So he is, for example, not likely to have a family, for example. Or if he has a family, it would be a very dysfunctional family because he will not invest in the family.
So coming back to sex, that's how it begins.
Gradually the narcissist looks around and he sees that he is a freak. That everyone is having sex and he is not having sex. That girls go after boys but not after him.
And so he begins to feel left out, he begins to feel freakish, he begins to feel inferior and inadequate.
And this challenges his grandiosity.
To restore his grandiosity, the narcissist creates an ideology of sexlessness.
Ideology of sexlessness, which says only superior people don't need sex. Sex is for wainshippers. Sex is for primitive people. Sex is animals have sex, you know. Sex is animalistic.
And I am well above that. My intellect took me away from all these great unwashed masses. I don't belong to the masses.
But this is, of course, a layer of ideology that is intended to cover the discomfort and humiliation of being in a totally sexualized environment, especially as a teenager.
And we call this entire situation cognitive dissonance. It's a cognitive dissonant reaction.
You feel dissonance, you feel discomfort, you feel conflict, and then you use your cognition, your thinking, to create some story, some narrative to make you feel good.
And the narcissist gets stuck with his story, the cerebral narcissist, gets stuck with his story for the rest of his life.
Gradually he becomes proud or protected. He becomes emotionally invested in this ideology, this story. He becomes proud of it. And he uses it, now he chooses asexuality.
To begin with, he didn't choose it, but now he chooses it.
So even when he finds himself in situations where he can have sex, he's offered sex, and so on, he would reject it. And he would not feel bad about it, but he would feel proud. He would feel that he had been tested and survived the test with flying colors. He had proved his mettle, he had proved how strong he is, how superior he is, and he would even brag about it, he would even go and tell everyone. I was with this gorgeous girl, she took off her clothes, I told her, you know, leave me alone. And he would brag about it, he would...
And of course, like everything else, there are social structures which are narcissistic. Most religions are narcissistic.
So there are social structures, and these social structures adopted asexuality as a form of...
So we find asexuality in religion, which we can discuss later.