Background

Myths of One Night Stands and Casual Sex (Full Text in DESCRIPTION)

Uploaded 6/28/2019, approx. 4 minute read

Some people find them exciting, irresistible. Others find casual sex disgusting, haunting, reprehensible.

There are numerous myths and legends about casual sex. For example, the myth that men and women react differently to it. The truth is that quite a few studies have substantiated that men and women react to casual sex exactly the same.

In the middle of casual sex, during the act and in each other's mouth, exactly the same.

My name is somebody and the author of Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited.

Casual sex is linked to negative mental health outcomes, but only in certain kinds of people, not in everyone.

People who were drunk or who were drugged during the encounter. People who acted under peer pressure and didn't feel that they had any autonomy. People with conservative or traditional or religious upbringing and the moral code that prohibits and prescribes casual sex.

People in societies with such morals, where sex is a sacred union in male and female. People who, via casual sex, had violated promises, boundaries, rules and vows that they have made to themselves, violated their personal integrity or promises, boundaries, rules and vows they have made to others. People who get attached to sex partners or develop long-term expectations of a relationship following a single sexual and also people above the age of 40.

These profiles of participants in casual sex are likely to experience shame, embarrassment, guilt, depression, alarm, self-esteem, anxiety, regret, remorse and memory gaps following the wrong. All other types of people react with excitement, satisfaction and even pride to their reaffirmed desirability and to the modicum of palliative affection, covert attention, acceptance, fleeting intimacy and closeness that is ineluctably involved in voluntary casual sex.

Casual sex with consent. Casual sex allows singles to regulate their sex lives and to satisfy their curiosity and their need for variety. Still casual sex invariably involves objectifying department. Most true casual sex and one mind stands and so on. Most of it is nearly anomalous. You don't know much about the body. All animals practice sex without intimacy or emotions with very few exceptions.

The human animal is also not an exception.

So why the righteous brouhaha about sexual sex?

Well, first of all, there is speciesism to believe that humans are superior to animals and should never give in to their animal nature but rather seek to translate. Speciesism is a form of grandiosity fostered originally by religious teachings, the book of Genesis.

And then there's conflicting and confusing lust and love, emotional intimacy with mere physical intimacy.

Casual sex amounts to masturbating with the body of a nearly anonymous part. The part that becomes an animated dildo, a sophisticated and unpredictable sex doll replete with smells, a taste, but that's it. Nothing more than that.

Very little intimacy is important in this act except the physical, of the physical kind.

But we have physical intimacy in numerous other settings. In a hospital, in a crowded bus, at dinner, physical intimacy is not limited to one night's tent.

Can sex has nothing whatsoever to do with sex in a committed, loving relationship where it is used to express the love and the intimacy underlying it.

And the third reason we are so concerned with casual sex is because being in love, because some people are in love with infatuation itself. They are addicted to falling in love. Some people fall in love with their sexual partners even after a single one night's tent.

And this complicates matters and leads to heartbreak that is best avoided altogether.

I am bothered by casual sex, but I'm bothered by it only recently. I've had my share of casual sex. I'm bothered by it because it worries me that casual sex has become the norm. I think it's very bad and sick that hookups have become the standard practice, that there is a hookup culture among those born after 1995. Why am I bothered by it?

Because it may affect the ability of these people to form meaningful intimate relationships further down the road when they grow up. The jury is still out on this. There are no studies to substantiate this connection.

But I strongly and intuitively suspect that if you spend your entire team and 20s banging people about whom you know nothing or close to nothing, casual settings of one night's tents, not seeing them afterwards, not concerned with their fate, their history, or their future, I strongly suspect it would be difficult for you to form meaningful interrelationships with other people when the time comes and when you really want it.

I also think that casual sex definitely disposes the methods of these generations to regard sex as nothing more significant than other bodily functions that is substantiated by research. It renders them way more prone to cheating, adultery, deceiving your partner.

Indeed, cheating is up dramatically among both genders in these groups. It also predisposes them to reckless sexual behaviors linked to substance abuse such as alcohol or co-addiction or whatever.

So emotionless casual sex is not the problem. The problem is it's preponderance. The problem is that we are beginning to know only this kind of sex. We are beginning to practice only this kind of sex. It's not the act itself. It's what the act says about us.

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

Narcissistic Youth Sexlessness: Porn and Relationships in a Dying World

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the decline in sexual activity and satisfaction, particularly among younger generations, attributing it to rising narcissism, inhibitions, distractions, and environmental factors. He notes that casual sex is less satisfying than relationship sex, and that women are avoiding bad sex. The consequences of this decline include a collapse in birth rates and a rise in single adults living without partners. Additionally, pornography is reducing the desire for real-life sex, and dating apps are inefficient.


Hookups Trap: Bad Sex, Female Raw Deal (Literature Review)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the cultural shift from traditional dating to the prevalence of casual sexual encounters, known as hookups, among young adults, particularly in college settings. He highlights the psychological and emotional consequences of such encounters, including feelings of regret, shame, and increased rates of depression and anxiety. Vaknin also points out the role of alcohol and drug use in facilitating hookups and the discrepancy between the actual desires for intimacy and the behaviors exhibited due to peer pressure and societal expectations. He warns of the potential long-term negative impacts on mental health and relationship formation.


Toxic Sex: When "Love" Is Bad For You

Sex can be bad for mental health, just like cigarettes. Some forms of sex, such as those intended to regulate emotions or moods, or those without meaningful informed consent, are toxic and should be avoided. Sex used as a form of self-mutilation or self-harm, or as a way to self-objectify, is also bad for mental health. Non-autonomous sex, where sex is used to make a partner like or love you, is possibly the sickest form of sex. The psychosexuality of those who engage in bad, toxic, and wrong sex is part psychopathic and part people-pleasing.


Promiscuity: Psychology of Self-Soothing with Sex (oh, and Relationships)

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the topic of promiscuity, its various causes, and its connection to mental health disorders. He delves into the psychological and behavioral aspects of promiscuity, including its association with narcissism, psychopathy, and dissociation. He also explores the impact of promiscuity on intimate relationships and societal changes. The presentation provides a comprehensive analysis of the complex and multifaceted nature of promiscuity.


Regretting Your Promiscuity? Do This!

In this video, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the differences in social sexuality and how it relates to mental illness. People with unrestricted social sexuality, who can have sex with strangers without any problem, are typically subclinical psychopaths. However, there are people who sleep with strangers habitually but hold conservative values, leading to cognitive dissonance and egodystonic behavior. These people may spiral down into a state of alcoholism and self-trashing, but there are effective treatments available, such as dialectical behavior therapy and behavior modification techniques. Vaknin encourages people to seek help and not give up on life.


Meaningful Casual Sex, One Night Stands: Their Emotions and Psychology

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the psychology of casual sex and one-night stands, arguing that they are not meaningless or emotionless experiences. He explains that casual sex involves a spectrum of activities and is a continuum, with one-night stands being a part of it. Vaknin highlights that casual sex and one-night stands involve trust, safety, suspension of defenses, and exposure of vulnerabilities, which are all elements of intimacy. Despite people's claims that these encounters are emotionless and meaningless, Vaknin argues that the emotional reactions and physiological changes that occur during and after casual sex prove otherwise.


Casual Sex Q&A: The Fake Intimacy of Bodies

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the impact of casual sex and infidelity on romantic relationships. He explores the psychological and emotional implications of promiscuity, the changing dynamics of mate selection, and the rise of narcissistic and psychopathic behaviors in women. Vaknin also delves into the complexities of intimacy, gender roles, and the challenges of modern relationships. He concludes by examining the impact of mental illness on individuals' coping strategies and their ultimate relationship with death.


How Porn Destroyed Sex (and Narcissism, of course) (ENGLISH responses)

Pornography has severe psychological effects, even on those who consume it casually. It diminishes the ability to connect intimacy to sexual arousal, objectifies the female body, and reduces it to body parts. Pornography also includes a lot of aggression, which leads teenagers to expect real-life sex to be aggressive and violent. The boundaries between pornography and real-life sex have blurred to the point that men feel entitled to demand from women to be porn stars. Women have developed pornographic availability as a counter to pornography, and the whole real-life sex has become pornographic. Women are in a terrible situation because they have to escalate to attract men. Men don't need women anymore because the only thing that a woman could give that was exclusive was her anatomy, and now, this is free. Women and men


Is Sam Vaknin a Misogynist (Woman-hater)?

Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the negative impact of casual sex and the Stold Revolution, where women are rejecting feminine aspects and defining themselves in masculine terms. He argues that this trend is leading to an androgynous unigender state and a decline in relationships between genders. Women are conforming to male stereotypes of sexually emancipated sluts, claiming empowerment, but this is belied by the male double standard. Casual sex has adverse impacts on mental and physical health, and women have a tendency to select inappropriate males for breeding. The missing skills required to maintain intimacy in relationships are the ability to compromise, set boundaries, be vulnerable, tolerate frustration, give space, trust, and cooperate.


Psychology of Swinging (The Lifestyle)

Swinging, also known as group sex or spouse-sharing, involves sexual acts performed by more than two participants. The psychological background to such pursuits is not clear, but thousands of online chats reveal ten psychodynamic strengths. These include latent and overt bisexuality and homosexuality, the Slut-Madona complex, voyeurism and exhibitionism, vicarious gratification, masochism, legitimized cheating, alleviating boredom, displaying partners, and objectification. Swinging can be a form of art, entertainment, and intimacy-enhancing recreation, but it can also provoke anxiety, romantic jealousy, and guilt.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2024, under license to William DeGraaf
Website Copyright © William DeGraaf 2022-2024
Get it on Google Play
Privacy policy