I think BDSM is an anxiety, in the case of narcissists, would be anxiety reducing. BDSM would be like a medicine called anxiolytic, anxiety reducing medication. I don't think it's therapeutic, but I think it allows the narcissist to feel calmer, feel better, to feel less anxious, less paranoid, but it will not have any long-term or structural effects on the narcissist.
A narcissist needs a vacation from life, from time to time, needs to experience vicariously how it is to be a woman, how it is to be someone else, how it is to be a doll, how it's a role-plays or has fetishes. He needs a guide with whom he will feel safe, to suspend himself or to experiment with himself and so on and so forth. He gets all this in BDSM, but this is mostly anxiety reducing, not much more than this.
Again, it's an excellent example of Victorian thinking about sex.
First of all, let's start with the animal kingdom in this case. The vast majority of animals, high-level animals, eukaryotic animals, especially mammals, peace on each other, use urine to signal sexual arousal, sexual attraction, sexual availability and to bond and to mate. Urinating on each other is a daily occurrence and extremely common in all mammal species.
Now, it's not probably an anatomical accident that the same parts of the body and sometimes the same genitalia that deliver, let's say, for example sperm in the case of a male, also deliver urine. We have the same equipment that delivers urine and not far from its feces and sperm all provides access to the uterus. Nature is very clever and nothing in nature is accidental or meaningless.
Why didn't nature put the vagina here? Much more accessible, much more accessible, closer to the mouth. So, you know, interesting possibilities. The location of the vagina, if you think about it objectively, is somewhat problematic because it's hidden, it's occult. It's very close to the anus, which very often creates infections, severe infections. It requires a unique structure of the penis and positioning of the penis, both to penetrate and to deliver the sperm and to take out the sperm of competitors. Either it's badly designed, very badly designed, we must fire the engineer, or there was something intended. It's not accidental. Someone meant something to achieve something by that. And I think what was meant to achieve by that is precisely watersports, possibly copophilia.
Start with watersports or golden showers and so on. As I said, in the animal kingdom, they're very common. Golden showers convey or represent enormous amounts of information. The urine itself is sterile. There's no risk of infection or anything of the kind. It's warm. So, it's a warm liquid, which creates good feeling and so on. And it's a fluid. It's a bodily fluid equivalent to sweat, equivalent to saliva.
Why did we decide that out of the typically six liquids, six fluids exchanged in sex, there is a seventh which is forbidden? Where did this decision come from? Why didn't we, for example, forbid saliva? Why didn't we forbid vaginal fluid? Why did we forbid this fluid?
Similarly, why did we forbid feces? You could say that feces is unpleasant, smells bad, and so on. That's a good reason. It can turn off most people. So, that's why I'm dedicating myself mostly to urine.
There is no clinical, theoretical, biological, historical, zoological reason for the special status of urine. None. Zero.
Except the fact that to urinate, one must expose one's genitalia publicly. And that was considered horrendous in Victorian Britain. I'm mentioning Victorian Britain all the time because prior to the Victorian period in Britain, it was very common to urinate in public. People were urinating in public and taking out what needs to be taken out, and they would do it in front of everyone. There was no shame in that.
In the palace of Versailles, there was a group of servants whose job was to clean feces and urine from the corners of the palace because people would take out the penises or whatever and would urinate. There were no toilets. No, nothing. The very modern toilet is modern.
The Romans had toilets, but Roman toilets were public, mostly toilets. Even in private houses, Roman toilets were public, for example. Roman toilets never had doors. Never had doors. And Roman toilets were positioned in such a way that if you went to the lower floor, you could look up and see all the views of Rome.
So it's a modern invention.
The prohibition of urine both as a perfectly natural function and as a sexual stimulant and possible lubricant and a very pleasant, warm fluid, total hysteria, much cleaner, by the way, than vaginal fluid, much, much cleaner than sperm. It's a totally sterile fluid.
This prohibition is modern, very new, maybe 150 years old, maybe.
And yet we take it as, it's been like that forever. It's not been like that forever, of course.
Now, why would people engage in water sports or coprophagia or copophilia and so on? It's possibly, yes, possibly has to do with anal phase or body training or I don't know what. But I think it also has to do with the total experience of the body.
See, everything that comes out of the body and everything that enters the body is a source of pleasure. For example, we eat. Eating food is a form of penetration. We are not penetrated by a man or not penetrated by, you know, but we're penetrated by food.
When I eat a banana, also visually it looks very much like penetration. So we're penetrated by food, we're penetrated by medicines, we're penetrated by the environment in numerous ways and so on.
So everything that comes out and everything that goes in is a source of pleasure. It's our mindset that makes it unpleasurable, not anything objective or real.
And it is a normal pity that we boycott part of the repertory because our bodies are very limited.
But how many fluids we have? Seven. How many solids we have? One. How many ways to penetrate each other we have? In the case of women, three. In the case of men, one, two.
But we still limit things. This is not allowed. This is not done. This thing you will not use.
And finally, we are left with 20 percent of the possibilities. And 80 are forbidden, disallowed, taboo, disgusting, and so on and so forth. This is sexual suicide. This is constriction, as we call it in psychology.
In psychology, when we limit possible behaviors, we call it constriction.
So you have people who don't dare to leave home because they are agoraphobic. So they stay only at home. That is constriction.
People who don't dare to appear in public. They have fear of audience or public speaking. That's constriction.
And people who don't do golden showers, that's constriction. They can be happy with it or not happy with it. That's not the issue. It's constriction.
It's a behavior that has no harmful effects, that is pleasurable in principle, but it's owing to social reasons, cultural reasons. It's constricted.
And the biggest periods of constriction started 150 years ago in Britain with Queen Victoria. And hasn't ended yet.
We have camps of rebels, rebels who golden shower, rebels who do BDSM, rebels. It's like rebellions in the provinces of Rome, where the legions are going to suppress the Germans, the barbarian Germans. These are the rebels, the spanking community. These are rebels.
And ironically, the rebels represent true and healthy sexuality. Our core sexuality is very sick.
The sexuality we do practice is absolutely pathologist and sick. The sexuality we don't practice is the healthy sexuality.