Narcissist: Intimacy or Sex - Never Both (ENGLISH responses)

Uploaded 3/10/2020, approx. 4 minute read

I also feel a love for anyone I love as great an artist.

About a year ago a British artist had taken grey books on doctoral school cars.

The reason a cerebral narcissist will initiate sex with his partner, which is quite rare, is if he has reached a conclusion that he's about to lose her.

It's a reflection of abandonment anxiety or anticipatory loss anxiety.

He thinks there are signs that he may lose her. She found a man and it's more than sex. Something going on there, which is much more than sex.

So this is what we call reclaimed sex.

Reclaimed sex is sex intended to reclaim, to take back the partner and so he does.

I did it quite a few times. He does and then the partner comes and the partner comes. There is intimacy. It's a partner. It's not a stranger. It's much easier for the cerebral to do it with a stranger.

But with a partner, there's intimacy. There's common history. There are experiences. There are expectations. There are hopes and dreams and talks and there's a life together.

And in the cerebral's mind and the somatic's mind, actually the narcissist's mind, intimacy is the antidote to sex.

And that's why narcissists in sex dehumanize and objectify the partner, which is one of the main reasons they gravitate to be DSM and so on.

So he cannot dehumanize and objectify, for example, his wife because they have a lot together. It's a lot of work to dehumanize and objectify the wife. He has to overcome a lot more. He has to overcome his memories, his initial emotions. It's a mess.

So intimacy puts a damper on the sex. It reduces the sex, sexual drive. The minute she enters the bed, it's an intimate situation. The sex is gone. It's not fear of intimacy. There's many, many narcissists ironically seek intimacy, want intimacy, dream about intimacy. It's not fear of intimacy.

But it's the fact that intimacy and sex are so detached in the narcissist's mind that they had come to negate each other.

The narcissist has what Freud called at the time the Madonna horror complex.

So a woman can be a saint, untouchable, sex would dirty her. Sex is dirty, so you don't do it filthy. You don't do it with a sacred woman, so you do it only with prostitutes.

So if he wants to have sex with his wife in this scenario that you have described, he has to prostitute her.

So some cerebelli try to do that. So when the wife would come to bed, it's not that they would lose their sex. They would lose the sex drive, but they would make demands which would prostitute the woman, convert her into a prostitute.

And there many women would say, no, oh, it would be.

So also there is a severe problem of sexual communication between the cerebral and his partner.

The cerebral hides a lot, is ashamed of a lot. And the partner is intolerant and not willing to accept the role, for example, of a slut.

The French have a saying, the best woman is a cook in the kitchen and a whore in bed.

Unfortunately with the cerebral, very often he ends up with a whore in the kitchen and a cook in bed.

So that's a bit of a problem.

The problem in Nancy's relationship in everything, not only sex, is extremely dishonest communication about who they are, what they want, when they want it, when it's going to stop, why it's going to stop. They never honestly communicate, partly because they are afraid to lose the partner and partly because it's beneath them. They don't need to give explanation to anyone. I am who I am. Take it or leave it. My way or the highway, this kind of thing. Dishonest communication is at the core of many, many of the sexual traumas and relationship traumas that both sides go through, including the narcissists.

Narcissists have sequences of relationships which end extremely dramatically with conspicuous cheating or by the partner or with breakups which are very painful and aggressive.

And because of that, because the partner has led to develop expectations and hopes and dreams based on statements or implied statements or behaviors that are not real, that are temporary or fake or it's very misleading.

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Adulterous, Unfaithful Narcissists: Why Cheat and have Extramarital Affairs?

Narcissists cheat on their spouses for several reasons. Firstly, they require a constant supply of attention, admiration, and regulation to regulate their unstable sense of self-worth. Secondly, they are easily bored and require sexual conquests to alleviate this. Thirdly, they maintain an island of stability in their life surrounded by chaos and instability. Fourthly, they feel entitled to anything and everything and reject social conventions. Fifthly, they feel that being married reduces them to the lowest common denominator. Sixthly, they are control freaks and initiate other relationships to reassert control. Finally, they are terrified of intimacy and adultery is an excellent tool to suppress it.

Narcissist's Romantic Jealousy and Possessiveness

Narcissists experience anxiety when they become aware of their possessive and jealous tendencies. Anxiety characterizes all their interactions with the opposite sex, especially in situations where there is a possibility of rejection or abandonment. The narcissist's envy of their female mate is a result of an unconscious conflict, and they exercise their imagination to justify their negative emotions. Narcissists often strike an unhealthy balance by being emotionally and physically absent, which drives their partner to find emotional and physical gratification outside the relationship.

Can Narcissist Truly Love?

Narcissists are incapable of true love, but they do experience some emotion which they insist is love. Narcissists love their significant others as long as they continue to provide them with attention, or narcissistic supply. There are two types of narcissistic love: one type loves others as one would get attached to objects, while the other type abhors monotony and constancy, seeking instability, chaos, upheaval, drama, and change. In the narcissist's world, mature love is nowhere to be seen, and their so-called love is fear of losing control and hatred of the very people on whom their personality depends.

Breaking Through the Narcissist's Indifference by Becoming a Psychop

Narcissists have three essential demands from their partner: sex, supply, and services. If the partner provides any two of these three, the narcissist is pacified and ignores her. The partner needs to escalate, dramatize, and render herself unpredictable to attract the narcissist's attention. As our civilization becomes more narcissistic, both men and women adopt and emulate grandiose psychopathic men as role models, gurus, and guiding lights. The situation is so bad that many people are choosing simply to stay alone, to remain single in the fullest sense of the word.

Narcissists Hate Women, Misogynists

Narcissists view women as objects and use them for both primary and secondary narcissistic supply. They fear emotional intimacy and treat women as property, similar to the mindset of European males in the 18th century. Narcissists frustrate women by teasing them and then leaving them, and they hold women in contempt, choosing submissive partners whom they disdain for being below their intellectual level. The narcissist projects his own behavior and traits onto women.

Narcissist Frustrates Women with Ostentatious Fidelity

Narcissists, particularly cerebral narcissists, often frustrate women who are attracted to them by withholding sex or teasing them. This is because they are misogynists who hold women in contempt and fear them. They divide women into saints and whores, and view sex and intimacy as mutually exclusive. The narcissist's frustrating behavior serves to secure a narcissistic supply and reenact unresolved conflicts with their mother. They pathologize women to control them and project their own parasitic behavior onto them.

Loving My Narcissist HURTS so much!

Loving a narcissist is a painful experience due to their lack of empathy, idealization followed by devaluation, and inability to truly connect with their partner. The narcissist's inaccessibility and indifference can be devastating, as they often discard their partners without any emotional reaction. This experience can leave the partner feeling shattered, questioning their own judgment and ability to trust themselves and others. Ultimately, the pain of loving a narcissist comes from grieving the loss of who they used to be and the potential of what could have been in the relationship.

Can You Love the Narcissist and Rescue Him?

Victims of narcissists often resort to fantasies and self-delusions to cope with their pain, believing that they can rescue the narcissist from their misery and misfortune. However, loving a narcissist is difficult, and any attempt to relate to them emotionally is doomed to failure. Narcissists are addicts in pursuit of gratification through the drug known as narcissistic supply, and they hone in on potential suppliers like cruise missiles. Victims of narcissists can become bitter and self-centered, lacking in empathy, and become more like the narcissist over time.

Love Your Narcissist? Make Him Stay, Depend on You (Tips, Resolutions)

In a relationship with a narcissist, it is important to know what not to do and what to do to maintain the relationship. Avoid disagreeing, contradicting, or criticizing the narcissist, and never offer intimacy or challenge their self-image. To make the narcissist dependent on you, listen attentively, agree with everything they say, offer something unique, be patient, and be emotionally and financially independent. It is also crucial to know yourself and set personal boundaries, treating yourself with dignity and demanding respect from others. If the relationship becomes abusive, consider going no-contact and ending the relationship for your own well-being.

How Narcissist's Victims Deceive Themselves

Narcissists cannot be cured and are a threat to those around them. Victims of narcissists often confuse shame with guilt and attribute remorsefulness to the narcissist when they are actually feeling shame for failing. Narcissists are attracted to vulnerable people who offer them a secure source of narcissistic supply. Healing is dependent on a sense of security in a relationship, but the narcissist is not interested in healing and would rather invest their energy in obtaining narcissistic supply. Narcissists lack empathy and cannot understand others, making them a danger to those around them.

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