Background

Narcissist's Sexual Deviance (ENGLISH responses, with Nárcisz Coach)

Uploaded 1/21/2020, approx. 2 minute read

You are your father's substitute, you become the father. And at that point, your sexual identity begins to be very fuzzy, very unclear, not as a male, but as a phase of development, as you're a child. You're a child, but you're expected to behave as a man, and you can't. It's a failure, it's a failure, it's a gap.

So you feel that you're a failure as a man. It disrupts the identity.

So narcissists, generally, are heavily disrupted when it comes to sexual differentiation and sexual identity.

Consequently, most narcissists engage in unusual sexual practices. So it could be kink, could be BDSM, classic BDSM, could be fetishism, could be pedophilia, could be incest, could be hebephilia, preference for teenagers.

So you would find narcissists overly represented in unusual or atypical sexual behavior, and massively overrepresented in what we call paraphilias. Paraphilia are actual sexual orientation diseases, like mental diseases. So pedophilia is a paraphilia. But narcissists have many other paraphilias.

I have a database of 1,560 people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder over 25 years. It's not so much, it's about 20 or 30 a year.

Very few narcissists admit they've been diagnosed.

The minute I catch someone, I get on a forum or something, I write to them and I have a huge questionnaire with 700 questions that I submit to them.

And I have this database, and it's by far the largest in the world, by far the largest. And one of the things that I have discovered is that fewer than 3% have what we would call conventional or normal sexual style, sexual preferences, sexual orientations. Fewer than three percent.

And for me, homosexuality is a normal sexual orientation. I'm not talking about homosexuality, I'm talking about really crazy things, like, you know, they're really into this.

For example, the frequency of incest shocked me, absolutely shocked me. Well over 20% of the database engaged in incest, first-degree relative incest, daughter, son, mother, father, well over 20%. 20, 23%. Compare it to the general population. It's like hundreds of times more.

Fetishism is, I don't remember the figure, but also like 20, 30%. Proper fetishism, like shoes, proper fetishism. Kink, all over, literally all over. I never met a narcissist who's not into that.

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

Narcissist's Fantasy Sex Life

Narcissists and psychopaths often have a fantasy-based sex life that reflects their psychodynamic inner landscape, including fear of intimacy, misogyny, control-freak tendencies, auto-eroticism, latent sadism and masochism, problems of gender identity, and various sexual deviances or failures. Their fantasies often involve the aggressive or violent objectification of a faceless, nameless, and sometimes even sexless person, and they are always in unmitigated control of their environment and the people in it. The narcissist's self-exposure to their intimate partner often elicits reactions of horror, repulsion, and estrangement.


Narcissists: Homosexual and Transsexual

Research has found no significant difference between the psychological makeup of a narcissist with homosexual preferences and a heterosexual narcissist. However, the self-definition of homosexuals is often based on their sexual identity, which can lead to somatic narcissism. Homosexual relations are highly narcissistic and autoerotic affairs, with the somatic narcissist directing their libido at their own body. Transsexuals may also exhibit narcissistic tendencies, with some seeking sex reassignment due to an idealized overvaluation of themselves and a sense of entitlement.


Narcissist's Psychosexuality: Deviant Pervert or Just Kinky Fun?

Narcissists are auto-erotic and focused on themselves as the source of pleasure. Their sexuality is often stunted and thwarted, with somatic narcissists flaunting their conquests and cerebral narcissists often being celibate. Narcissists have highly specific fetishes and are very particular about their preferences. The risk of incest and active pedophilia is higher with narcissists and psychopaths due to their lack of impulse control, boundaries, and obedience to rules.


Narcissist and Incest: The Incestuous Narcissist and Psychopath

Incest is an auto-erotic act that involves the objectification of the partner, transforming them into an object. The narcissist overvalues and then devalues their sexual partner, and they cannot see the other's point of view or plight. As siblings and progeny grow older, the narcissist begins to see their potential to be edifying, satisfactory, and reliable sources of narcissistic supply. The narcissist's inability to acknowledge and abide by the personal boundaries set by others puts their children at a heightened risk of abuse, verbal, emotional, physical, and often sexual.


Your Empathy as Narcissistic Injury: Narcissist Never Learns, No Insight

Narcissists reject empathy and intimacy because it challenges their grandiosity, and they become paranoid and aggressive when someone tries to be intimate with them. Narcissists lack empathy and access to positive emotions, leading to a truncated version of empathy called "cold empathy." Narcissists are self-aware but lack the incentive to get rid of their narcissism, and therapy is more focused on accommodating the needs of the narcissist's nearest and dearest. Cold Therapy is experimental and limited, as it removes the false self but does not develop empathy or improve the narcissist's interpersonal relationships.


Women Narcissists

Male and female narcissists differ in the way they manifest their narcissism, with women focusing on their body and traditional gender roles. However, both genders are chauvinistic and conservative, as they depend on the opinions of those around them to maintain their false self. Women are more likely to seek therapy and use their children as a source of narcissistic supply, while men may view their children as a nuisance. Ultimately, there is no psychodynamic difference between male and female narcissists, as they both choose different sources of supply but are otherwise identical.


Old-age Narcissist

Narcissists age without grace, unable to accept their fallibility and mortality. They suffer from mental progeria, aging prematurely and finding themselves in a time warp. The longer they live, the more average they become, and the wider the gulf between their pretensions and accomplishments. Few narcissists save for rainy days, and those who succeed in their vocation end up bitterly alone, having squandered the love of family, offspring, and mates.


Narcissist Hates Happy People and Holidays

Holidays and birthdays are a difficult time for narcissists, as they provoke a stream of pathological envy. The narcissist is jealous of others for having a family, being able to celebrate lavishly, or being in the right mood. They hate humans because they are unable to be one and want to spoil it for those who can enjoy. Holidays remind the narcissist of their childhood, the supportive and loving family they never had, and what could have been.


Pedophile Narcissist: Narcissism, Pedophilia, and Hebephilia

Pedophiles are attracted to pre-pubescent children and come from all walks of life. They have no common socioeconomic background, and most have not been sexually abused in childhood. Pedophiles are drawn to what children symbolize, such as innocence and trust, and they view their relationships with children in a peculiar light. Pedophilia is a culture-bound syndrome, and the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual is considering rendering hebephilia as a subtype of pedophilia.


The Signs of the Narcissist

Narcissists are difficult to spot, but there are subtle signs that can be picked up on, such as entitlement markers, idealization and devaluation, and a lack of empathy. Narcissists are often perceived as anti-social and are unable to secure the sympathy of others. They are also prone to projecting a false self and using primitive defense mechanisms such as splitting, projection, projective identification, and intellectualization.

Transcripts Copyright © Sam Vaknin 2010-2024, under license to William DeGraaf
Website Copyright © William DeGraaf 2022-2024
Get it on Google Play
Privacy policy