Narcissists: Homosexual and Transsexual

Uploaded 9/27/2010, approx. 5 minute read

I am Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited.

Research failed to find any substantive difference between the psychological makeup of a narcissist who happens to have homosexual preferences and a heterosexual narcissist.

There is, however, one element which might be unique to homosexuals, the fact that their self-definition hinges on their sexual identity.

Heterosexuals usually would not use their sexual preferences to define themselves almost fully. Homosexuality has been inflated to the level of a subculture, separate psychology or a myth.

This is typical of persecuted minorities.

However, it does have an influence on the individual.

Reoccupation with body and sex makes most homosexual narcissists somatic narcissists.

Moreover, the homosexual makes love to a person of the same sex. In a way, he makes love to his reflection.

And in this respect, homosexual relations are highly narcissistic and autoerotic affairs.

The somatic narcissist directs his libido, his sex drive, at his own body. The cerebral narcissist concentrates on the intellect. The somatic narcissist cultivates his body, nourishes, nurtures it, often is often a hypochondriac, dedicates an inordinate amount of time to the needs of his body, both real and imaginary.

It is through his body that the somatic narcissist tracks down and captures his sources of narcissistic supply. The supply that the somatic narcissist so badly requires is derived from his shape, from his build, from his muscles, from his profile, from his beauty, from his physical attractiveness and irresistibility, from his health or from his age.

The somatic narcissist downplays narcissistic supply, directed at other traits of his, even at his intellect.

The somatic narcissist uses sex to reaffirm his prowess, his attractiveness, his resistibility, irresistibility, his youth. Love to him is synonymous with sex.

And the somatic narcissist focuses his learning skills on the sexual act, on the conquest, on the foreplay, and the quartal aftermath.

Seduction becomes addictive because it leads to a quick succession of narcissistic supply sources.

Naturally, boredom, a form of transmuted self-aggression, boredom sets in once the going gets routine. Routine is counter-narcissistic by definition because it threatens the narcissist's sense of uniqueness.

An interesting side issue relates to transsexuals.

Philosophically, there is little difference between a narcissist who seeks to avoid his true self and positively to become his false self and a transsexual who seeks to discard his true gender and positively become a member of another gender.

But this similarity, though superficially appealing, is questionable.

People sometimes seek sex reassignment because of advantages and opportunities which they believe are enjoyed by the other sex.

This rather unrealistic fantastic view of the other is faintly narcissistic. It includes elements of idealized overvaluation of self-preoccupation and of objectification of one's self. It demonstrates a deficient ability to empathize in some grandiose sense of entitlement.

Most transsexuals say, I deserve to be taken care of or of omnipotence. Some of them say I can be whatever I want to be despite nature and God, in defiance of nature and God.

This feeling of entitlement is especially manifest in some gender dysphoric individuals who aggressively pursue hormonal or surgical treatment. They feel that it is their inalienable right to receive such treatment on demand and without any strictures or restrictions.

For instance, some transsexuals refuse to undergo psychological evaluation or treatment as a condition for the hormonal or surgical treatment.

It is interesting to note that both narcissism and gender dysphoria are early childhood phenomena. This could be explained by problematic primary objects, parents, dysfunctional families, or a common genetic or biochemical problem. It is too early to say which the research is meager.

As yet, there isn't even an agreed topology of gender identity disorders, let alone an in-depth comprehension of their sources.

A radical view preferred by Ray Blanchard seems to indicate that pathological narcissism is more likely to be found among non-core, egodystonic, autogynephilic transsexuals, and among heterosexual transvestites. It is less manifest in core egosyntonic homosexual transsexuals.

Autogenophilic transsexuals are subject to an intense urge to become the opposite sex and thus to be rendered the sexual object object of their own desire. In other words, they are so sexually attracted to themselves that they wish to become both lovers in the romantic equation, the male and the female.

Becoming a male or a female is the fulfillment of the ultimate narcissistic fantasy with the false self as a fetish, a narcissistic fetish.

The transsexual, by transforming himself into the opposite sex, provides himself with a closed space, closed universe in which he, and he alone, is the lover of himself in his role as male and female.

Autogenophilic transsexuals start off as heterosexuals and end up as either bisexual or homosexual.

By shifting his or her attentions to men, the male autogenophilic transsexual proves to himself that he has finally become a true and desirable woman.

A narcissistic aspiration if we ever heard one.

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Women Narcissists

Male and female narcissists differ in the way they manifest their narcissism, with women focusing on their body and traditional gender roles. However, both genders are chauvinistic and conservative, as they depend on the opinions of those around them to maintain their false self. Women are more likely to seek therapy and use their children as a source of narcissistic supply, while men may view their children as a nuisance. Ultimately, there is no psychodynamic difference between male and female narcissists, as they both choose different sources of supply but are otherwise identical.

Narcissist: No Sex, please, I am Cerebral!

Narcissists are autoerotic and prefer masturbation to sex. They view women with contempt and seek to torment them. The cerebral narcissist is often celibate and prefers pornography and sexual auto-stimulation to the real thing. They are afraid of encounters with the opposite sex and are even more afraid of emotional involvement or commitment that they fancy themselves prone to develop following a sexual encounter.

Narcissist's Fantasy Sex Life

Narcissists and psychopaths often have a fantasy-based sex life that reflects their psychodynamic inner landscape, including fear of intimacy, misogyny, control-freak tendencies, auto-eroticism, latent sadism and masochism, problems of gender identity, and various sexual deviances or failures. Their fantasies often involve the aggressive or violent objectification of a faceless, nameless, and sometimes even sexless person, and they are always in unmitigated control of their environment and the people in it. The narcissist's self-exposure to their intimate partner often elicits reactions of horror, repulsion, and estrangement.

Narcissist's Sexual Deviance (ENGLISH responses, with Nárcisz Coach)

Narcissists are heavily disrupted when it comes to sexual differentiation and sexual identity, leading to unusual sexual practices. Narcissists are overrepresented in atypical sexual behavior and massively overrepresented in paraphilias. Fewer than 3% of narcissists have what is considered a conventional or normal sexual style, preference, or orientation. The frequency of incest among narcissists is well over 20%, compared to the general population, which is hundreds of times more.

Narcissist's Psychosexuality: Deviant Pervert or Just Kinky Fun?

Narcissists are auto-erotic and focused on themselves as the source of pleasure. Their sexuality is often stunted and thwarted, with somatic narcissists flaunting their conquests and cerebral narcissists often being celibate. Narcissists have highly specific fetishes and are very particular about their preferences. The risk of incest and active pedophilia is higher with narcissists and psychopaths due to their lack of impulse control, boundaries, and obedience to rules.

Narcissist Frustrates Women with Ostentatious Fidelity

Narcissists, particularly cerebral narcissists, often frustrate women who are attracted to them by withholding sex or teasing them. This is because they are misogynists who hold women in contempt and fear them. They divide women into saints and whores, and view sex and intimacy as mutually exclusive. The narcissist's frustrating behavior serves to secure a narcissistic supply and reenact unresolved conflicts with their mother. They pathologize women to control them and project their own parasitic behavior onto them.

Cerebral Narcissist's Proud Asexuality (ENGLISH responses)

Cerebral narcissists become fixated on their intellectual abilities as children, which leads to a narrow and constricted life as adults. They seek excellence but refuse to compromise, leading to dichotomous thinking and an inability to see nuances in the world. This can lead to an ideology of sexlessness, which is intended to cover the discomfort and humiliation of being in a sexualized environment. The cerebral narcissist becomes emotionally invested in this ideology and even brags about rejecting sexual advances.

Narcissist: Pornography as Real Life (ENGLISH responses)

Narcissists who are cerebral asexuals do not respond to any sexual cues, advances, or courting by any possible sex partner. They are not responding to visual cues in leaving people. Pornography creates an addiction and misrepresents sex, converting it into something impersonal, aggressive, and dead. Narcissists invest sexual energy and emotions in masturbation but have no investment in sex with real people. The narcissist is self-sufficient in everything and is an autonomous unit with zero dependence on other people, except for narcissistic supply.

Spot a Narcissist or a Psychopath on Your First Date

There are warning signs to identify abusers and narcissists early on in a relationship. One of the first signs is the abuser's tendency to blame others for their mistakes and failures. Other signs include hypersensitivity, eagerness to commit, controlling behavior, patronizing and condescending manner, and devaluing the partner. Abusers may also idealize their partner, have sadistic sexual fantasies, and switch between abusive and loving behavior. Paying attention to body language can also reveal warning signs.

Cerebral Narcissist's Confession: Regulation of Narcissistic Supply

The cerebral narcissist describes his pattern of selecting women inferior to him, engaging in brief periods of sex, and then becoming a recluse interested only in his studies. He sees his intimate partners as fulfilling roles such as admiring him, reminding him of his past accomplishments, and doing chores. He does not care what else they do with their time or with whom they spend it, but panics when they show signs of leaving him. He embarks on a charm offensive, but it is usually too late. The women feel that something is wrong with the relationship, but cannot place their finger on it.

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