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Narcissist's Sexual Deviance (ENGLISH responses, with Nárcisz Coach)

Uploaded 1/21/2020, approx. 2 minute read

You are your father's substitute, you become the father. And at that point, your sexual identity begins to be very fuzzy, very unclear, not as a male, but as a phase of development, as you're a child. You're a child, but you're expected to behave as a man, and you can't. It's a failure, it's a failure, it's a gap.

So you feel that you're a failure as a man. It disrupts the identity.

So narcissists, generally, are heavily disrupted when it comes to sexual differentiation and sexual identity.

Consequently, most narcissists engage in unusual sexual practices. So it could be kink, could be BDSM, classic BDSM, could be fetishism, could be pedophilia, could be incest, could be hebephilia, preference for teenagers.

So you would find narcissists overly represented in unusual or atypical sexual behavior, and massively overrepresented in what we call paraphilias. Paraphilia are actual sexual orientation diseases, like mental diseases. So pedophilia is a paraphilia. But narcissists have many other paraphilias.

I have a database of 1,560 people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder over 25 years. It's not so much, it's about 20 or 30 a year.

Very few narcissists admit they've been diagnosed.

The minute I catch someone, I get on a forum or something, I write to them and I have a huge questionnaire with 700 questions that I submit to them.

And I have this database, and it's by far the largest in the world, by far the largest. And one of the things that I have discovered is that fewer than 3% have what we would call conventional or normal sexual style, sexual preferences, sexual orientations. Fewer than three percent.

And for me, homosexuality is a normal sexual orientation. I'm not talking about homosexuality, I'm talking about really crazy things, like, you know, they're really into this.

For example, the frequency of incest shocked me, absolutely shocked me. Well over 20% of the database engaged in incest, first-degree relative incest, daughter, son, mother, father, well over 20%. 20, 23%. Compare it to the general population. It's like hundreds of times more.

Fetishism is, I don't remember the figure, but also like 20, 30%. Proper fetishism, like shoes, proper fetishism. Kink, all over, literally all over. I never met a narcissist who's not into that.

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Narcissist's Fantasy Sex Life

Narcissists and psychopaths often have a fantasy-based sex life that reflects their psychodynamic inner landscape, including fear of intimacy, misogyny, control-freak tendencies, auto-eroticism, latent sadism and masochism, problems of gender identity, and various sexual deviances or failures. Their fantasies often involve the aggressive or violent objectification of a faceless, nameless, and sometimes even sexless person, and they are always in unmitigated control of their environment and the people in it. The narcissist's self-exposure to their intimate partner often elicits reactions of horror, repulsion, and estrangement.


Narcissist's Psychosexuality: Deviant Pervert or Just Kinky Fun?

Narcissists are auto-erotic and focused on themselves as the source of pleasure. Their sexuality is often stunted and thwarted, with somatic narcissists flaunting their conquests and cerebral narcissists often being celibate. Narcissists have highly specific fetishes and are very particular about their preferences. The risk of incest and active pedophilia is higher with narcissists and psychopaths due to their lack of impulse control, boundaries, and obedience to rules.


Adulterous, Unfaithful Narcissists: Why Cheat and have Extramarital Affairs?

Narcissists are unfaithful to their spouses primarily due to their insatiable need for narcissistic supply, which they seek through sexual conquests and extramarital affairs. They experience boredom easily and use these affairs to inject excitement into their otherwise monotonous lives, while maintaining a semblance of stability in other areas. Their sense of superiority leads them to feel entitled to act outside social norms, viewing marriage as a constraint that diminishes their uniqueness. Additionally, narcissists fear intimacy and use infidelity as a means to avoid deeper emotional connections, allowing them to engage in relationships that are less demanding and more controllable.


Narcissist’s Mixed Signals: You His Mother, He Your Father

Narcissists often have distorted sexual relationships due to conflicting messages received during childhood, leading them to either seek maternal figures or treat partners as disposable objects. Their sexuality is characterized by sadism, where they derive pleasure from degrading and objectifying women rather than from genuine intimacy or love. As relationships progress, women may initially indulge the narcissist's fantasies but eventually seek true intimacy, leading to frustration and withdrawal from the narcissist. Ultimately, this cycle results in a lack of genuine connection, with both parties trapped in dysfunctional patterns that stem from their unresolved childhood issues.


Narcissist's Celibacy as a Religious Principle (ENGLISH responses)

Cerebral narcissists often redefine sexual abstinence as a form of religious ideology, viewing it as a means of self-worship and internal transformation. In contrast to Eastern traditions, where sexual energy is seen as a positive force for personal elevation, Western perspectives tend to associate sex with shame and guilt, leading to a conflicted relationship with sexuality. The modern sexual landscape, influenced by narcissism, has created a cycle of guilt and shame surrounding casual sex, which is often treated as a commodified experience devoid of emotional connection. This dissonance reflects a broader societal issue where contemporary sexual practices clash with outdated emotional frameworks, resulting in a pervasive sense of conflict and objectification in relationships.


Narcissist's Partner Reacts to Narcissist's Sexuality (ENGLISH responses)

Partners of narcissists often deny the signs of their sexual behavior, which can be pretty open, including consuming pornography, having lovers, and trying to convince their partner to participate in threesomes and group sex. The rejection of the narcissist's sexual practices by the partner is often a weapon used against the narcissist in arguments, rather than a genuine issue. The rejection of the narcissist's needs by the partner is a great pity and a great obstacle to the relationship, and partners should sit back and consider what they are willing to do and what they are not willing to do.


Narcissist: No Sex, please, I am Cerebral!

Narcissists are autoerotic and prefer masturbation to sex. They view women with contempt and seek to torment them. The cerebral narcissist is often celibate and prefers pornography and sexual auto-stimulation to the real thing. They are afraid of encounters with the opposite sex and are even more afraid of emotional involvement or commitment that they fancy themselves prone to develop following a sexual encounter.


Narcissist Frustrates Women with Ostentatious Fidelity

Cerebral narcissists often frustrate women who are attracted to them by withholding sexual intimacy and engaging in teasing behaviors, which stems from a deep-seated misogyny and contempt for women. They compartmentalize women into categories of "saints" and "whores," leading to a distorted view of intimacy and sexuality, where sex is seen as dirty and reserved for those they devalue. This behavior serves to secure narcissistic supply by eliciting admiration and pursuit while simultaneously reenacting unresolved conflicts from their past. Ultimately, the narcissist's fear of intimacy and emotional connection drives them to inflict pain on women, reinforcing their own feelings of superiority and control.


Infantile Narcissist's Submissive Women, Pedophilia (ENGLISH responses)

Women have submissive fantasies and desires in sex, which are built into the female mind. Narcissists are conditioned or become addicted to a source of high-grade narcissistic supply, and submission is not a determinant of the strength or duration of the relationship. Infantilization is a common narcissistic behavior, and in the sexual realm, it takes on the guise of role-play. Pedophilia is a universal phenomenon, and the narcissist's pedophilia has little to do with children but more to do with freedom, control, and defiance.


Cuckolds, Swingers (Lifestyle), and Psychopathic Narcissists: Death of Intimacy?

Psychopathic narcissists exist in a constant state of tension, balancing their need for self-sufficiency with a dependency on narcissistic supply, which includes attention and admiration. They often engage in relationships characterized by a transactional bond, allowing their partners to seek emotional and sexual fulfillment outside the relationship while maintaining control over their primary partner. Cheating, in the context of psychopathic narcissism, does not evoke the same emotional turmoil as it does in typical relationships, as there is often no genuine attachment or love involved. In contrast, cuckoldry and swinging can serve as a means for individuals to explore intimacy and sexual dynamics, but they can also lead to complications and emotional distress if boundaries and consent are not clearly established. Ultimately, the prevalence of casual sex and non-traditional relationship structures raises concerns about the erosion of meaningful intimacy in modern relationships.

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