An artist made such a news that he allowed one of his historic, adaptable partners, a wide source of Enjoy.
The most recent studies on human sexuality indicate that all women, without exception, prefer to adopt the submissive role.
They have submissive fantasies.
The vast majority of female sexual fantasies involve submission, one kind or another.
And in almost one fifth of the cases, it involves rape. Rape fantasies are very common among women.
So submission seems to be built into the female mind.
Whether it is built into the female mind because of genetic factors, or whether it is built in because of social and cultural factors, that women were educated to be submissive, conditioned to be submissive over the millennia, over thousands of years, we don't know.
We don't know yet.
It is interesting to note, though, that even liberated, emancipated women after feminism in totally egalitarian societies like in Scandinavia have identical submissive fantasies.
And identical submissive desires in sex would like to assume the submissive role in sex.
Strong, leading, domineering, dominant men still is the major turn on for women.
So it is far less difficult to find a submissive woman than most people imagine, for example, for the narcissists.
It's not that the narcissist goes through life unable to find willing, sexually submissive women. That's not the case at all.
What is more difficult to find are women who are into kink, which involves as one element, submission, but as many other elements, which have nothing to do with submission.
So that's difficult. Difficult to find women who would willingly participate in group sex, or three sons, or with multiple partners. And difficult to find women who would accept extreme sexual practices, or uncommon sexual practices, called in showers and so on.
These are difficult to find.
But the submission element is pretty classic and very, very common among women.
Narcissists do not bond with women on a sexual level. And they do not bond with women on an emotional level. And they do not bond with men on any level.
Narcissists are incapable of attachment and bonding. Narcissists are conditioned or become addicted to a source of high grade narcissistic supply. And they mislabel the narcissist, mislabel what he feels, and calls it love.
Or if he's very sophisticated, dependence.
Because there's a lack in the language to describe the kind of attachment that the narcissist has with the sources of supply.
But I think the closest would be attachment to a very good pusher, drug pusher. A drug pusher who is empathic, and compassionate, and smiling, and affectionate, provides you with very good, high quality, high grade drugs, in a reliable manner, doesn't charge too much, and generally is a good friend.
So that's more or less the relationship.
Submission, therefore, is not a determinant of the strength of a relationship, or the duration, or the length of the relationship.
What is a determinant is whether the submission comes as a form of narcissistic supply.
So if the woman presents her submission as narcissistic supply, it will have power over the narcissist. If she tells you, for example, I'm submissive to you because you are irresistible. Not because I like to be submissive, but because with you, I'm submissive. You are unique. You are irresistible.
Then she converts the submission into a source of supply. And then there is some bonding or attachment taking place, as long as the supply continues. And the submission is what kind of childhood trauma can be?
No, I don't think so.
Submission is built into the female psyche. And submission in the case of the narcissist, as we have discussed, is a way to connect with love and intimacy via pain. It's simply the narcissist's way of accessing love and intimacy.
In other words, the emphasis is not on the pain.
Submission is not the important part.
The pain is not the important part.
It's simply the only path the narcissist knows to love and intimacy, which are the important part.
Theoretically, it's possible to recondition the narcissist and to teach him that there are other paths to love and intimacy, not pain.
Theoretically, it's possible.
So in that case, he would stop seeking submissive. He would stop seeking pain. And he would adopt the other way.
But it's not like this is his way of re-traumatizing himself or revisiting the past or regressing.
And simply, that's the only way that he experiences true intimacy and love.
The irony is that when the narcissist visits dominatrix and is disciplined, that's the only time he experiences true love and intimacy.
True. Not fake.
But when he's with his long-suffering, long-loving wife, he experiences attachment to the narcissistic supply that he provides.
There's nothing to do with love.
So that's the said irony that it's far easier, for example, for the narcissist to experience love and intimacy, however briefly, with strangers, unconditioned that these strangers are willing to hurt him or to cause him pain or to make him submissive or to torture him or to abuse him.
And that is true. That is real love. That is real love and real intimacy.
It's a remnant, a very old remnant from the time before the false self.
It's not the true self, but it's the time before the false self.
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Pretty common among healthy people.
There's nothing unusual in that.
When the narcissist enters the scene, they acquire a different meaning and different psychodynamic or psychological importance.
So the narcissist is a child. He's a child and many partners of narcissists would tell you that the narcissist has many childish and infantile behaviors.
There are even some narcissists who talk to their intimate partners using a baby voice or a child's voice.
So infantilization is very common narcissistic behavior.
Outside the sexual scene, when the narcissist uses a baby voice, he regresses to childhood and doesn't involve sex in any way.
When the narcissist refuses to acquire adult skills, refuses to have a driver's license, refuses to learn how to swim, also this refusal to acquire adult skills is a form of infantilization.
When the narcissist refuses to be responsible, refuses to hold a job, refuses to have children, it's also a refusal to accept age. It's a wish to remain a child.
So there are many manifestations of the narcissist's wish to remain a child and in the sexual realm, in the sexual area, this would tend to take on the guise of role-play.
No, it's not connected to pedophilia. It's connected to infantilization.
Pedophilia is an interesting topic in itself and a very, very complex topic and has little to do with narcissism.
It is true that many narcissists, some narcissists are pedophiles, but again, their pedophilia is not classic pedophilia.
Pedophilia is actually a universal phenomenon. A universal phenomenon that is repressed and suppressed by society and converted into a taboo for very good reasons.
There is no consent possible because some of the recipients of the pedophile's attention, the children, are harmed. So pedophilia should be criminalized and should be, I'm not sure it's a mental illness, but should be criminalized.
That's for sure. Still, it's very, very common.
In some of the studies we made, we discovered that 20% of the population, adult male population, have pedophile fantasies. Sex with children, explicit sex with children. Pedophile tendencies are very, very common.
Active pedophiles are very few, but fantasy, pedophilia and so on, is very, very common.
Because it's very common, it cannot be really pathologized.
So the narcissist, when he is a pedophile, it has little to do with children. It has to do more with freedom, so it's a form of defiance. It has to do with control. It has to do with many things, but not with the child as a sexual object.
Here, in these role plays, the child is a sexual object. That's why the two phenomena are not related.
In these role plays, the narcissist regresses to a state where again he can surrender. It's a form of surrender.
A child doesn't have decision-making capacity, analytic capacity and so on, and has to accept the will of others.
So that relates to an earlier question that you asked.
It's another way of taking a vacation from life. It's another way of suspending the energy-depleting need to maintain the narcissistic personality and the control over the environment and so on.
And also, again, again, it connects to a period where he had love and intimacy and to a very large extent pain.
So the pain here is manifested by being controlled, being submissive, being punished. That's how the pain is expressed.
But again, it's linkage, pain, love and intimacy.
But it's not a pedophile thing. It's infantilization that I mentioned at the beginning of interview.