My name is Sam Vaknin, I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited, as well as a professor of psychology, and appearances notwithstanding, I am a man.
And so I would like to offer a few observations about women. My observations are 100% based on studies and science. And so they would tend to clash head on with a lot of bias, prejudice and unmitigated online nonsense.
Isn't it usual on this channel? It is. So let us plunge right in.
Today, to be a sexually boundaried, a sexually principled woman, nowadays it's considered a shameful pathology. If you don't put out immediately on a first date or after a few minutes on Tinder, something's wrong with you. You're a prude, you're a virgin.
Now don't get it wrong. Casual sex is not the invention of this generation. Casual sex came into being when I was born, in the early 1960s. And it has been with us since.
But in the past, until about 20 years ago, casual sex was optional. It was a choice.
Today, it is the norm. It is not an option. If you don't do casual sex, something is seriously wrong with you. You don't know how to have fun. You're not getting the maximum out of life.
So casual sex is the go-to thing. And relationships are, somewhere, priority number nine.
Women have always been the guardians of the status quo. Women had internalized male values, male expectations and male stereotypes. And having appropriated these, they became the ferocious guard dogs. They became, women became the enforcers of societal discipline and the main agents of socialization.
So men set the tone, men established the rules, men had created the expectations, the male gaze defined everything, females included, and then women stepped forward and became the most zealous members of the male cult.
Now that has been the case throughout history.
Females, for example, are the most ardent pro-life activists, anti-abortion activists. Women in Muslim countries are much more extreme than men in their perception of female transgressions and in the punishments that they ask and demand to meet out to their sisters.
And so there is this tradition of mobilizing women to defend male interests and the male structure of society, male-dominated structure of society, non-colloquially, as patriarchy.
And ironically, feminism fed into this traditional role. Feminism had rendered women less empowered, less emancipated, more heartbroken and disillusioned than ever in their personal lives.
You could easily say that feminism had utterly ruined the chances of the modern woman to have a personal life to start with, what with career and studies and so on, nothing much is left.
For well over 150 years, maybe 200 years, women sought equity and equality with men. They started by demanding the vote, equal wages, equal access to education and healthcare, equal employment opportunities, equal promotion policies in the workplace.
And women had attained equity and equality in many fields and actually supremacy and superiority in many others.
It's not to say that this battle is over. Women are still discriminated against. There's no wage equality. And women are harassed and assaulted sexually in many workplaces.
So this war is still ongoing and it's a meritorious war. It's a war that men should support. It's a war that men should wage on behalf of women together with women.
But instead of doing this, men had reacted largely by abandoning en masse. All women, men have just walked away resentful, bitter, angry, enraged, entitled. They threw a spoiled brat collective temper tantrum and they just walked away.
Sometimes they did it even institutionally, like the MGTOW movement, men going their own way. The whole manosphere is based on this, on disengagement between the genders.
Men didn't take well to the ascendance of women. Men don't regard favorably women who compete with them and outdo them in many fields.
And so men had abrogated any commitment and any investment in women, for women and with women.
Both parties, men and women, gave up on intimacy and gave up on the prospect of a relationship.
Today, majority of men and women are actually either officially single or actually single.
With men all but gone away, all but vanished, women were forced into the role of men, into the erstwhile rows of men, like, for example, providers and breadwinners.
Women are attempting to fulfill the void left behind. When men had walked away, women are attempting to become the new men. And this is what we call in sociology, the Stalled Revolution. Stalled Revolution. Women are becoming much more masculine. They are coerced into classical and traditional masculine roles because there's no one there. Men just aren't there.
But something strange, psychologically speaking, something strange has happened to women in this inexorable process of becoming the new men.
They became converted. They had transformed the inevitable into an ideology.
They are now zealous, caricatured men, women. Women are now acting out male stereotypes.
They are implementing male sexual scripts and gender roles as the pillars of their newly defined femininity.
I'm going to repeat this because this is mind-boggling and mind-warping. Women were forced to become men because men had absconded, men had walked away.
So women were forced to begin to fulfill the male chores, take on male responsibilities and male roles.
Having been forced into this position, they had transformed it into an ideology. It's cognitive dissonance, of course.
And so they had transformed the cognitive dissonance into an ideology. They said, actually, we want it. It's not that we are forced into it, it's that we want it.
And so they became newly converted, new converts, zealous and caricatured men. And they are acting out male stereotypes, male sexual scripts and gender roles.
And these male artifacts are the pillars of their newly defined femininity.
One such stereotype is the self-objectifying slut in a tank top makeup and high heels.
If you talk to any young woman, she would tell you that the way she dresses is an integral part of her femininity.
She has a right to express herself through the way she dresses.
Her clothing is not just clothing, it's a statement about her essence and quiddity as a female.
And yet women don't dress the way they do because they are expressing their femininity.
Women dress the way they do to attract the male gaze and male attention.
So women dress in total conformance and adherence to male dress code for women, to male stereotypes on how a sexual woman should look like and dress.
Women totally comply with male expectations on how to be dressed, how to behave, how much makeup to put, what type of makeup to put, how high the heels and how short the dress and how tanked or cropped the top.
It's a sad twist to be an emancipated empowered modern woman.
Today is to give men what they had always dreamt of, to fulfill men's deepest fantasy and desire.
And the greatest fantasy of every man ever alive and many men dead, the greatest fantasy is and was no strings attached sex with an unboundaried partner.
I repeat, sex, no strings attached, no emotions, no commitment, no investment, no involvement with a woman who is a slut in bed, an unboundaried partner, a whore, a whore and a whore.
And men are getting this, men are getting precisely this for women nowadays. Women are there to fulfill men's most hidden wishes and fantasies.
Is this emancipation? Is this liberation? Is this empowerment? Or is this a much more profound phase of enslavement than women had ever experienced inVociferous protestations aside, studies conclusively show that women had also assimilated the male double standard.
If you talk to modern women, they will tell you, the sex I'm having, I want to have it. It's my choice. And I don't care what people or men say about me. And I don't care what anyone says. I'm going to continue to behave the way that gratifies me and satisfies.
That's of course utter nonsense. It's a desperate and flimsy attempt to resolve deep set cognitive dissonances, deep set conflicts.
Because the truth is, women judge other women as sluts. Women slut shame other women much more than men do.
Women had internalized the male double standard. They are conflicted about their conduct or misconduct. Women secretly crave more in most instances of casual sex. And yet they are not getting it. And they're not getting it. And they're not demanding it.
Because to demand more is to lose the male partner.
And so they're there in casual sex, passed from one man to another, randomly, total strangers, and they pretend that they like it, that they are agentic, that it is their choice. That's the way they wanted, wanted, and always did want it. They're liberated. They're emancipated.
But then when we conduct studies with these very women, structured interviews, journal entries, longitudinal studies, when we talk to these women over time, we discover that deep inside, they're ashamed. They feel guilty and depressed about what they're doing to themselves. They feel they're not getting a fair shake. They're not realizing either their potential or their goals. They're not getting anywhere with all these casual sex.
To resolve the cognitive dissonance that this lamentable state of affairs had created, many young women pretend to be agentic and carefree.
And when I say young women, I'm misleading you. It's increasingly more prevalent among older women.
So it spread. This malignancy had spread to all women of all ages because many women today are divorced. They're forced into a state of singlehood late in life. And many women are refugees from abusive relationships. And they are not young anymore or not as young anymore.
So women of all ages, women of all ages to resolve these cognitive dissonances, they pretend to be agentic, carefree. They pretend to make choices. They are in control, they will tell you.
And in reality, they're actually drunk most of the time. In well over 90 percent, between 80 and 90 percent, depending on the study, of casual sex instances, the woman is drunk to the point of blackout. In 20 percent of cases, she is in blackout.
These women are devastated in most of these encounters. Something like 43 percent of women immediately regretcasual sex. The other 57 percent claim to like it.
But then when we drill deeper, they tell you the sex is horrible. And indeed, anywhere between 10 and 20 percent of women orgasm, the others don't.
We have studied by Ornstein, Wade, Cohen, Armstrong, many, many others. There are hundreds of studies. You can't fly in the face of these studies. You can't deny them. The evidence is absolutely crushing and overwhelming in well over 20 countries on five continents. The situation is identical everywhere.
Women with their feminism had pushed themselves into a corner and they don't know how to get themselves out of that corner, except by pretending that the corner had been a choice or a strategy all along.
You know, it's not a bug. It's a feature. It's not a defeat. It was planned in advance. It's a tactical retreat.
But actually, feminism had defeated women. They feel defeated. The rates of depression and anxiety and suicide among women had quadrupled and tripled over the last 15 years.
And men, what do men do in the face of all this? They are jubilant. They're celebrating. Heaven had descended on Earth. Men take advantage of this self-inflicted female injury.
Men had become aggressive about demanding immediate sex and they offer nothing in return. And women end up with the worst of both worlds.
Women are being held responsible the way men used to be, responsible for a career, for home, for children and so on, the way men used to be.
But at the same time, they are suffering from slut-shaming, the double standard and harassment as women always had.
Feminism failed to get rid of obnoxious male behaviors. If anything, it had exacerbated them.
There's a marked increase in sexual assault. Well over one-quarter of first dates end in rape. There is also a strong deterioration in the quality of sex, even in one-night stands.
Anal has taken over. Anal has taken over from vaginal. And most women will tell you that anal is not exactly what men think it is. Women don't like anal, the majority of them.
So it's a man's world and men are imposing the sexual education that they had acquired from pornography on women.
And women are forced to become porn stars, including forced to create self-pornography, which is then posted online or used to blackmail them.
Men manipulate women. They falsely, publicly support this transformation. They say, good for you women, you're empowered, you're liberated, you're emancipated. That's the way you should be.
But privately, men still shame these women, call them sluts, hoes, mock them, pass their names and details. Whenever you go to a new city, if you know where to look, you'll get a list of women available as easy lays and the local sluts.
Men manipulate women. They egg on women. They push them to implement this ideology because it's good for men.
This ideology is a disaster, unmitigated disaster for women. I see no plus, no plus in the existence of the modern woman. None, only minuses.
I'm talking about the private life, the personal life, not the professional life. The private life is demolished and eradicated beyond reconstruction in my view.
And Western men are the worst because they egregiously lie and pretend to be tolerant of female unbridled sexuality.
Whatever it takes, baby, I'm with you. It's your choice. You're empowered, you're agentic.
They keep telling women what they want to hear, these Western men. They don't dare to stand up to women and say, what are you doing with your body, with your boundaries, with your self-respect, with your dignity, with your goals, with your life aspirations? What is your strategy and vision? Why are you going with all this?
No man is saying this because it is the men's interest to perpetuate this condition where women offer free sex and ask for nothing in return, not even a second date.
And so Western men especially perpetuate this dysfunctional and self-defeating female behaviors.
And it's a toxic macabre dance.
And if you dare to tell any woman this, she will call you a misogynist and a woman hater.
Name-calling is the scoundrel's last resort. When you don't have good counter-arguments, you name-call, you go ad hominem. You attack the messenger and not the message because there's nothing to say against science and against hundreds of studies.
What can a woman say, a modern woman? How can a modern woman refute a single sentence I've just said?
Every word I've just said is backed by dozens of studies. I refer you to my video on hookups where I made a literature review with 91 studies.
So every sentence I said is backed by science. What do women have to say to counter anything I said?
Nothing, except call me a misogynist and a woman hater, when actually I'm more of a woman lover than any fake Western man who is tolerant and progressive and liberal. And I'm more of a woman lover, definitely, than any feminist.
The double standard is deplorable. It's an abomination.
Double standard means that the sexual behavior of menis judged differently to the sexual behavior of women. And the sexual behavior of men has different social costs, or not social costs, or even social rewards.
Whereas an identical behavior by a female, by a woman, would be penalized, somehow, with social opprobrium, up to losing your job.
So this is the double standard. If a man has sex with multiple women, he's a stud. He is a player. If a woman does the same, she's a slut, she's a ho.
It's double standard, and it's horrible, because men and women were created equal. Not identical, thank God. They are not identical.
It is the difference that creates attraction, and it is attraction that creates life and perpetuates it.
So men and women should never be identical, and that's women's mistake. They are trying to be identical to men.
But they are equal, and the double standard impinges on that equality.
But it is a fact. To ignore the fact of the double standard is delusional, self-deceiving, and costly in terms of relationship prospects and reputation.
The way to overcome the double standard is not to outman men, but to teach men to be more considerate, compassionate and respectful.
Women fail to appreciate the reputational halo effect. The notoriety of a woman carries out into other ostensibly unrelated areas of her life.
Breaching social norms and mores, even if they are deplorable, like the double standard, it carries a lifelong. It's a lifelong, all-pervasive sentence.
So a woman says, when I'm single, I have no sexual boundaries whatsoever. When I'm single, I'm highly promiscuous. But when I'm in a relationship, I can be trusted to be self-respecting, decent and boundaried.
No man is going to buy this.
Once a woman had made the choice to be self-trashing, self-objectifying and boundaried in sex, that's the end. She acquires a reputation, and she is no longer relationship material. She is a commodity to be passed around, sometimes by multiple men in group sex settings. It's much less rare than you would believe.
Go online and read Rothman's work on trains. It's a new name for multiple men having sex with the same woman, one after the other, not together. There's gang bangs, there's group sex, and it's a growing phenomenon, even in high school.
But they are targeted at specific women, the women who had acquired the reputation.
So you can't say this. You can't say, I'm cheating with you on my spouse, but I will never cheat on you. You can't say, in sex, I'm drunk and self-trashing with my colleagues, but I expect my colleagues, the same colleagues, to respect me at work. You can't say this. It's not going to work.
And now let me get to the counter-argument, the only counter-argument that can be offered by women, any woman who is listening to this video.
She can have only one counter-argument.
Why?
Because everything I said is backed by decades of scholarly literature, with hundreds of thousands of interviews and people who participated in these studies over five continents.
There's no escaping anything I've said. It's all 100%, 1,000% true. You can't argue with science. You can't argue with facts. You can't argue with the preponderance of studies, meta-analyzed properly.
Studies which were well-crafted, well-conducted, well-designed. You can't do that. It's the end of the road. It's the final station. The train must stop here. The buck must stop here.
So when women face this, they have a trump card. It's exactly like black people. When you argue with them about some things, they have a trump card. You're a racist.
The same with women. You argue with them about some things based 100% on science and studies, and they have a trump card. You're a misogynist. You're a woman-hater.
No speech act founded on science is hate speech. None.
Wherever the data may lead, we are obligated to follow.
If a preponderance of well-crafted studies or meta-analysis of such studies point to a conclusion, and that conclusion is politically incorrect, one has the moral obligation to adhere to the facts, regardless of the prevailing censorship, regardless of a threat, the dictatorial totalitarian threat of cancel culture, regardless of mob rule through social media, or the occlocracy of social media.
If I look at the data, and the studies are well-designed and convince me, and there are hundreds of them, and they're over decades, and they're everywhere, and they're also identical results.
I don't care if these results are politically correct. I couldn't give a damn. I couldn't care less.
I follow that my God and my religion are data. My God and my religion is the scientific method.
My sacred literature of these studies, their facts, you cannot argue with them however unpalatable they are, however much they undermine your self-justifying resolutions of your cognitive dissonance.
Women behave in ways which create in them enormous dissonance and conflict, and to resolve this, they're lying to themselves and to others, and men are happy to collaborate with these lies, to perpetuate them, to enhance them and amplify them, because it works in favor of men, and it works against women.
Feminism is the greatest disaster that had happened to women, ever, absolutely ever.
And this is supported by science, not by propaganda and indoctrination, and other nonsense, academic nonsense, academic political nonsense. They are facts, and they are non-facts. These are the only two entities in science.
So, they are facts. Casual sex has severe long-term deleterious mental health effects, and they affect women only.
Fact. What to do? It's a fact.
Victimhood movements are being infiltrated by covert narcissists and secondary psychopaths.
Fact, lately. These are facts.
Dark triad personality is common among people, especially women, who engage in sexual self-trafficking, such as compulsive sexting, group sex, self-ponography, or cheating. These people are narcissistic, psychopathic, and Machiavellian.
Facts. Unpleasant facts, because so many women are engaged in these kind of activities, had adopted these kind of behaviors, because these behaviors made them more men than men, more emancipated, more liberated, more empowered, more in control of their destiny, or so they believe.
This ispsychopathic defiance. It's narcissistic grandiosity.
Studies are saying this, not me.
So, we need to look at these studies, and we need to base our decision-making and our entire future on this, on data.
Clear-eyed look at reality. We need to emerge from the cocoon of ideology.
We need to demolish political correctness. It's a scourge. It's a malignancy on the body of human progress and enlightenment.
And we need to begin to talk tackles, as we say in Yiddish, talk business.
And the business is simple. Women had fallen prey to their own contorted thinking and their own confabulated ideologies.
And men are delighted to leverage this increasing self-deception in their favor.
Men are taking advantage of women's confusion and befuddlement and disorientation.
And they're egging them on, and they're increasing the miasma in which women are immersed and embedded, because it's good for men.
They're getting everything they want, and they're giving nothing in return.
Women, wake up. Wake up. It's already way too late.