Inverted Narcissist Envies Narcissist Intimate Partner

Uploaded 12/10/2013, approx. 3 minute read

My name is Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited.

A refresher course.

Two narcissists of the same type, somatic, cerebral, classic, compensatory, inverted, etc. If they are of the same type, two narcissists cannot maintain stable, long-term, full-fledged and functional relationship.

To remind you, there are two types of narcissists, the somatic narcissist and the cerebral narcissist. The somatic type relies on his body and sexuality as sources of narcissistic supply. The cerebral narcissist uses his intellect, his intelligence and his professional achievements to obtain the same.

Narcissists are either predominantly cerebral or overwhelmingly somatic. In other words, they either generate narcissistic supply by using their bodies or by flaunting their minds.

If both members of a couple are cerebral narcissists, for instance, if both of them are scholars or academics, the resulting competition prevents them from serving as ample sources of narcissistic supply to each other. Finally, the mutual admiration society crumbles.

Consumed by the pursuit of their own narcissistic gratification, these two similar narcissists, same type narcissists, have no time or energy or will left to cater to the narcissistic needs of their partner.

Moreover, the partner is perceived as a dangerous and vicious contender for a scarce resource of narcissistic supply.

This, of course, is less true if the two narcissists work in totally unrelated academic or intellectual fields, but it still holds.

What happens if the two narcissists are of different types?

If one of them is cerebral and the other one is somatic, then a long-term partnership based on the mutual provision of narcissistic supply can definitely survive.

Example, if one of the narcissists is somatic, uses his or her body as a source of narcissistic gratification, and the other member of the couple is cerebral, uses his or her intellect or professional achievements as such a source for supply.

Well, in such a combination, such a dyad, there is nothing to destabilize such a collaboration. It is even potentially emotionally rewarding.

The relationship between these two narcissists, the cerebral and somatic, resembles the one that exists between an artist and his art or a collector and his collection. This can and does change, of course, as the narcissists involved grow older, flabbier and less agile intellectually.

The somatic narcissist is also prone to multiple sexual relationships and encounters intended to support his somatic and sexual self-image. Cheating and adultery are not taken kindly even by cerebral narcissists. These may subject the relationship to fracturing strains.

But all in all, in general speaking, a stable and enduring relationship can and often does develop between dissimilar narcissists.

But this rule that opposites attract, cerebral somatic, somatic cerebral, this rule does not apply to a classic inverted narcissist pairing.

Cerebral narcissists tend to pair with inverted cerebral narcissists.

Inverted cerebral narcissists are the only ones who can appreciate the intellectual accomplishments of cerebral narcissists. The inverted narcissist appropriates the accomplishments of the inverted cerebral narcissist as their own.

In a couple where one of the members is a cerebral narcissist and the other is an inverted cerebral narcissist, the cerebral narcissist generates fame, recognition, and celebrity. And the inverted cerebral narcissist appreciates the accomplishment of the cerebral narcissist and appropriates these accomplishments, feeling that he had a contribution.

Similarly, somatic narcissists tend to bond with their inverted somatic counterparts. Though content to derive her narcissistic supply from the reactions to her intimate partner's achievements, the inverted narcissist, being of the same type, still feels envious and frustrated by her relative obscurity.

So an inverted cerebral narcissist feels overshadowed by her classic cerebral narcissist partner.

Being cerebral, albeit inverted, she feels that she too should be recognized or can contribute. And being unable to do so because of her psychological dynamics, she feels frustrated, aggravated, overlooked, discriminated, unjustly ignored.

In the long run, such an inverted narcissist succumbs to her self-defeating urges and seeks to ruin the fount of her frustration, her classic partner, despite the fact that he, her partner, also serves as her prime and often exclusive source of narcissistic supply.

If you enjoyed this article, you might like the following:

Two Narcissists in a Couple

Two narcissists of the same type cannot maintain a stable, long-term, full-fledged and functional relationship. Two narcissists of different types or opposing types can, often do, maintain long-term, stable and rather happy relationships. There are two main types of narcissists, somatic and cerebral. The somatic type of narcissist relies on his body and sexuality to generate attention, adulation and admiration, while the cerebral narcissist leverages his intellect, his intelligence and his professional achievements to obtain the same. Stable and enduring relationships can and often do develop between dissimilar narcissists.

Cerebral Narcissist: Woman? What's That For?

The cerebral narcissist lacks the sexual energy and magnetism of the somatic narcissist. The author, a cerebral narcissist, describes himself as a deceptive package, an I being, a mental alien in an uncanny carnal outfit. He is exhausted by the rites of procreation and rarely copulates. Women are attracted to him but repelled by his essence, and he is turned into a gaping black hole, out to suck the vitality of everyone around him.

Narcissist: Destructive Envy and Romantic Jealousy

Envy is a compounded emotion brought on by the realization of some lack or deficiency in oneself. Narcissists cope with their pathological envy by either subsuming the object of envy via imitation or destroying it. The most dangerous species of narcissists are those who derive contentment from their own humiliation and end up driving the objects of their own devotion and accumulation to destruction and decrepititude. Romantic jealousy is a narcissistic defense that reflects the narcissistic traits and behaviors of possessiveness, objectification, and treating the spouse as an extension of oneself.

Narcissist's Sexual Identities (ENGLISH responses)

Narcissists lack an ego and have no reality test, so they rely on other people to provide them with narcissistic supply. The cerebral narcissist uses their intellect to obtain supply, while the somatic narcissist uses their body and sex. However, all narcissists are both cerebral and somatic, with a dominant and recessive side. The dominant side is usually 70-80% of their life, but there is fluctuation between the two types. Narcissists are frozen at a young age and have no sexual or gender identity, leading to infantilization and reaction formation to their own sexuality.

Narcissist Frustrates Women with Ostentatious Fidelity

Narcissists, particularly cerebral narcissists, often frustrate women who are attracted to them by withholding sex or teasing them. This is because they are misogynists who hold women in contempt and fear them. They divide women into saints and whores, and view sex and intimacy as mutually exclusive. The narcissist's frustrating behavior serves to secure a narcissistic supply and reenact unresolved conflicts with their mother. They pathologize women to control them and project their own parasitic behavior onto them.

Sex and Narcissistic Supply: Cerebral, Somatic, and YOU!

Narcissists objectify and interchange intimate partners, and are often sexually deviant. The cerebral narcissist suppresses their sexual predilections to maintain a gratifying and exclusive relationship with their source of secondary supply, while the somatic narcissist indulges their sexual preferences with multiple partners. The cerebral narcissist would rather hurt their partner by withholding sex than lose them altogether, while the somatic narcissist seeks out unstable partners to regulate their sense of self-worth. Sex is a necessary evil to the cerebral narcissist, while it is a source of narcissistic supply to the somatic narcissist.

When Hoovering Fails, Narcissist Fakes

The text discusses the narcissist's reaction when someone refuses to conform to their idealized image. When rejected, the narcissist experiences cognitive dissonance and resolves it by rewriting history and reality. They re-idealize the rejected person and then devalue them if they persist in rejecting the narcissist. The narcissist's internal representation of the rejected person persists in their mind, and they dedicate their life to forcing others to conform to this idealized image.

Somatic Narcissist: Not Sex, But Pursuit and Conquest

Somatic narcissists derive their narcissistic supply from the process of securing sex, rather than the act itself. They are often health freaks, bodybuilders, or hypochondriacs, and regard their bodies as objects to be sculpted and honed. The cerebral narcissist, on the other hand, is haughty and uses their intellect or knowledge to secure admiration. Both types are auto-erotic and prefer masturbation to interactive sex. It is a mistake to assume type constancy, as the narcissist swings between their dominant and recessive types.

Why Narcissist Devalues YOU (Hint: Wants YOU "Dead")

Narcissists devalue their partners as a form of self-defense and control. There are two types of devaluation: preemptive and reactive. Preemptive devaluation occurs when a narcissist is in a transitional state between overt and covert narcissism, and they devalue potential sources of supply to prevent the overt side from using them against the covert side. Reactive devaluation is a response to a perceived threat to the narcissist's grandiosity or control. Both types of devaluation are harmful to the victim and serve to maintain the narcissist's sense of power and control.

Adulterous, Unfaithful Narcissists: Why Cheat and have Extramarital Affairs?

Narcissists cheat on their spouses for several reasons. Firstly, they require a constant supply of attention, admiration, and regulation to regulate their unstable sense of self-worth. Secondly, they are easily bored and require sexual conquests to alleviate this. Thirdly, they maintain an island of stability in their life surrounded by chaos and instability. Fourthly, they feel entitled to anything and everything and reject social conventions. Fifthly, they feel that being married reduces them to the lowest common denominator. Sixthly, they are control freaks and initiate other relationships to reassert control. Finally, they are terrified of intimacy and adultery is an excellent tool to suppress it.

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