Inverted Narcissist Envies Narcissist Intimate Partner

Uploaded 12/10/2013, approx. 3 minute read

My name is Sam Vaknin, and I am the author of Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited.

A refresher course.

Two narcissists of the same type, somatic, cerebral, classic, compensatory, inverted, etc. If they are of the same type, two narcissists cannot maintain stable, long-term, full-fledged and functional relationship.

To remind you, there are two types of narcissists, the somatic narcissist and the cerebral narcissist. The somatic type relies on his body and sexuality as sources of narcissistic supply. The cerebral narcissist uses his intellect, his intelligence and his professional achievements to obtain the same.

Narcissists are either predominantly cerebral or overwhelmingly somatic. In other words, they either generate narcissistic supply by using their bodies or by flaunting their minds.

If both members of a couple are cerebral narcissists, for instance, if both of them are scholars or academics, the resulting competition prevents them from serving as ample sources of narcissistic supply to each other. Finally, the mutual admiration society crumbles.

Consumed by the pursuit of their own narcissistic gratification, these two similar narcissists, same type narcissists, have no time or energy or will left to cater to the narcissistic needs of their partner.

Moreover, the partner is perceived as a dangerous and vicious contender for a scarce resource of narcissistic supply.

This, of course, is less true if the two narcissists work in totally unrelated academic or intellectual fields, but it still holds.

What happens if the two narcissists are of different types?

If one of them is cerebral and the other one is somatic, then a long-term partnership based on the mutual provision of narcissistic supply can definitely survive.

Example, if one of the narcissists is somatic, uses his or her body as a source of narcissistic gratification, and the other member of the couple is cerebral, uses his or her intellect or professional achievements as such a source for supply.

Well, in such a combination, such a dyad, there is nothing to destabilize such a collaboration. It is even potentially emotionally rewarding.

The relationship between these two narcissists, the cerebral and somatic, resembles the one that exists between an artist and his art or a collector and his collection. This can and does change, of course, as the narcissists involved grow older, flabbier and less agile intellectually.

The somatic narcissist is also prone to multiple sexual relationships and encounters intended to support his somatic and sexual self-image. Cheating and adultery are not taken kindly even by cerebral narcissists. These may subject the relationship to fracturing strains.

But all in all, in general speaking, a stable and enduring relationship can and often does develop between dissimilar narcissists.

But this rule that opposites attract, cerebral somatic, somatic cerebral, this rule does not apply to a classic inverted narcissist pairing.

Cerebral narcissists tend to pair with inverted cerebral narcissists.

Inverted cerebral narcissists are the only ones who can appreciate the intellectual accomplishments of cerebral narcissists. The inverted narcissist appropriates the accomplishments of the inverted cerebral narcissist as their own.

In a couple where one of the members is a cerebral narcissist and the other is an inverted cerebral narcissist, the cerebral narcissist generates fame, recognition, and celebrity. And the inverted cerebral narcissist appreciates the accomplishment of the cerebral narcissist and appropriates these accomplishments, feeling that he had a contribution.

Similarly, somatic narcissists tend to bond with their inverted somatic counterparts. Though content to derive her narcissistic supply from the reactions to her intimate partner's achievements, the inverted narcissist, being of the same type, still feels envious and frustrated by her relative obscurity.

So an inverted cerebral narcissist feels overshadowed by her classic cerebral narcissist partner.

Being cerebral, albeit inverted, she feels that she too should be recognized or can contribute. And being unable to do so because of her psychological dynamics, she feels frustrated, aggravated, overlooked, discriminated, unjustly ignored.

In the long run, such an inverted narcissist succumbs to her self-defeating urges and seeks to ruin the fount of her frustration, her classic partner, despite the fact that he, her partner, also serves as her prime and often exclusive source of narcissistic supply.

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Two Narcissists in a Couple

Two narcissists of the same type cannot maintain a stable, long-term, full-fledged and functional relationship. Two narcissists of different types or opposing types can, often do, maintain long-term, stable and rather happy relationships. There are two main types of narcissists, somatic and cerebral. The somatic type of narcissist relies on his body and sexuality to generate attention, adulation and admiration, while the cerebral narcissist leverages his intellect, his intelligence and his professional achievements to obtain the same. Stable and enduring relationships can and often do develop between dissimilar narcissists.

Why Narcissist Devalues YOU (Hint: Wants YOU "Dead")

Narcissists devalue their partners as a form of self-defense and control. There are two types of devaluation: preemptive and reactive. Preemptive devaluation occurs when a narcissist is in a transitional state between overt and covert narcissism, and they devalue potential sources of supply to prevent the overt side from using them against the covert side. Reactive devaluation is a response to a perceived threat to the narcissist's grandiosity or control. Both types of devaluation are harmful to the victim and serve to maintain the narcissist's sense of power and control.

Cerebral Narcissist: Woman? What's That For?

The cerebral narcissist lacks the sexual energy and magnetism of the somatic narcissist. The author, a cerebral narcissist, describes himself as a deceptive package, an I being, a mental alien in an uncanny carnal outfit. He is exhausted by the rites of procreation and rarely copulates. Women are attracted to him but repelled by his essence, and he is turned into a gaping black hole, out to suck the vitality of everyone around him.

How To Tell If Someone Is A Pathological Liar

Pathological lying is a compulsive behavior that is not goal-oriented and has no purpose. Pathological liars weave elaborate and extensive lies that are self-destructive and self-defeating. They are emotionally invested in the act of lying and create an environment that is conducive to their subjective well-being. Pathological lying is not a symptom of any other mental illness and is a long-term problem. There are eight types of lies, including utilitarian, smokescreen, compassionate, ceremonial, compensatory, confabulatory, inferential, and hybrid lies.

When the Narcissist's Parents Die

The death of a narcissist's parents can be a complicated experience. The narcissist has a mixed reaction to their passing, feeling both elation and grief. The parents are often the source of the narcissist's trauma and continue to haunt them long after they die. The death of the parents also represents a loss of a reliable source of narcissistic supply, which can lead to severe depression. Additionally, the narcissist's unfinished business with their parents can lead to unresolved conflicts and pressure that deforms their personality.

Narcissism Myths: Suicide, Types, Crises

Narcissists come in different types, with cerebral and somatic being the most common. All narcissists share certain traits, such as pathological lying and lack of empathy. Narcissists are not interested in people as such, but they love to have an audience as long as they provide them with narcissistic supply. Narcissists rarely commit suicide, but they react with suicidal ideation and reactive psychosis to severe stress. Narcissists prefer to find alternative sources of supply, and they are creative in doing so.

N-Magnet: Narcissist's Ideal Victim?

Narcissists are not drawn to empathic, sensitive people, but rather repelled by them. Victims of narcissistic abuse come in all shapes, sizes, professions, genders, and ages, and there is no specific profile. People should not think of themselves as a "narcissist magnet" and instead review their life in detail to see that they have control over their destiny and can learn from their experiences. Bed relationships, no matter how harrowing, are opportunities to learn lessons.

Somatic Narcissist: Not Sex, But Pursuit and Conquest

Somatic narcissists derive their narcissistic supply from the process of securing sex, rather than the act itself. They are often health freaks, bodybuilders, or hypochondriacs, and regard their bodies as objects to be sculpted and honed. The cerebral narcissist, on the other hand, is haughty and uses their intellect or knowledge to secure admiration. Both types are auto-erotic and prefer masturbation to interactive sex. It is a mistake to assume type constancy, as the narcissist swings between their dominant and recessive types.

Brain, Brawn, Body, Bluff: Narcissists, Somatic, Covert, Cerebral, and Classic

Narcissists can be either somatic or cerebral, depending on whether they use their physical appearance or intellect to obtain supply. While there is no constancy, there is type dominance, with cerebral narcissists emphasizing their intellect and somatic narcissists emphasizing their physical appearance. Narcissists are competitive and ambitious in sex, using their partner's body as an animated dildo or masturbatory object. Covert narcissists, who are mostly women, tend to be largely asexual due to deep-set inferiority complexes and body dysmorphic disorders. They may engage in body-altering behaviors such as surgeries and look-maxing, which is more prevalent among covert somatic narcissists. Altruism can also be a form of ostentatious narcissism.

Narcissist's Sexual Identities (ENGLISH responses)

Narcissists lack an ego and have no reality test, so they rely on other people to provide them with narcissistic supply. The cerebral narcissist uses their intellect to obtain supply, while the somatic narcissist uses their body and sex. However, all narcissists are both cerebral and somatic, with a dominant and recessive side. The dominant side is usually 70-80% of their life, but there is fluctuation between the two types. Narcissists are frozen at a young age and have no sexual or gender identity, leading to infantilization and reaction formation to their own sexuality.

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